SCC AGM 2018

SCC AGM Minutes 8th February 2018

Those present:

Malikovich (wants new comrade name)
Malkovich (happy with comrade name)

new blood: Alex (Alexei) Williams

Those unable to attend who sent apologies:

Brandonovski – summoned to gulag
Yankerov – summoned to gulag
Ruboneoff – escaping gulag


1. The Premier’s Opening Address : Yuri noted that a quorum was present at the Lord’s Tavern. A toast was made to absent friends.

2. Treasurer
In Brandonovski’s absence a coup was staged by Malkovich to be the new Party Treasurer – this was seconded by Soldya, 3rded by Dacha and unanimously agreed upon by those in attendance – and by Brandonovski in absentia.

Soldya and Bogey licker

Malkovich is hereby named as the NEW TREASURER of the SCC.

Points noted by and for the New Treasurer:

i) He needs access to the account
ii) He needs the PIN for the SCC card.
iii) Any Quartermaster/Serious Cricket kit monies to be transferred to SCC account.
iv) Membership fees to remain at £50
v) New Members to have a one off reduced membership fee of £25 for the first year.
vi) Necessity for a Portable Defibrillator – Treasurer to look into costs of hiring one vs purchasing one.

New blood, Alex Williams

3. Fixtures:
In the absence of the Fixtures Secretary it was noted that he had once again put together an excellent fixture list but we made a note not to tell him this.

Suggestion was made for Brandonovski to look into one or two 20/20 fixtures as a mid-week evening fixture is always nice – perhaps v. Wenlock Arms?

4. Quartermaster:

All SCC members to have AT LEAST the standard SCC top as a minimum kit requirement.

5. Captains’ reports:
Jontin entertained all with a potted summary of the assembled team members’ strengths and weaknesses – videos to follow.

Discussions centred around the possibility of Jontin captaining roughly half the fixtures and mentoring others to captain the remaining matches.

The emphasis should be on enjoyment but with a competitive spirit, in the words of the Great Walrus himself:
“It’s that people enjoy it, that’s the key. Not winning at all costs. We’re here to enjoy and have fun but it’s nice to push yourself and win too”

Treasurer Malkovich added that his biggest frustration was an occasional defeatist attitude which must be eradicated if we are to achieve our Five Year Plan.

Jontin on teamwork:
“I would always spread it around”

I’m jolly Jontin

Jontin on team banter:
“We need the spunk”

Jontin on – erm, not quite sure what he was talking about but he said this:
“I will always push myself hard to get into a good position, getting the balance right and having a good time”


Yuri Pedeez (Phil) expects and requests somebody to step up as potential premier for the 2019 season. This will still go to vote and Yuri will stand too but hopes that there shall be scope for variety going forward as he shall not always be living in London or available to premier.

Team to make extra effort to keep the energy up – especially in the last ten overs
Banter & Team morale to be a priority this season.

We have a tablet – Phil brings it to every game – let’s use it!!
Help each other, coach those who don’t know on umpiring rules & regs.

WoodDacha to make a one page handy doc that has all field placings and key umpiring regs (hand signals & lbw rule basics).

Social Diary – a date to be fixed for New Members’ Drinks.

Phil has a massive kit bag.

CLOSED AT 21:52.


MCC win

Captain’s Match Report written by Comrade Vladimir Boringski.

I was honoured to be asked by the premier to captain this match against our old friends the Maharajah’s CC after having already had the honour of captaining at the previous game against our even closer friends the VCC on the Hampstead Heath Extension 2 weeks earlier on Sun 18 June.  On that occasion it was exceedingly hot so we limited ourselves to 30 overs each way.  The Walrus, captain of the VCC, was initially lured into deceptive measures to gain early advantage by claiming to win the toss when he had lost it, but luckily deep down in that capitalist scheming mind, the days of playing for the communists jolted his conscience and he yielded the decision to the Vladinator.   That match has already been reported in Soldya’s stylish Lewis Carroll-esque poetic lines, but suffice it to say it was a great and honourable performance by the SCC – a great effort by all the comrades struggling valiantly against the heat to come away with not only a moral victory, but an actual one as well. 

Returning to the present and on the day of this match against the Maharajah’s CC it was a very close run thing.  With only a few days to go we were worryingly low on numbers, only having 7 comrades on the sheet, and I was dreading the awful text from the premier to suggest we cancel the match.  I hoped for the best and luckily the premier stood by his guns and called the match on.  Rob Muller, previously an empirical capitalist from the VCC offered his services, and then Malik friend of Malkovitch stepped in as well.  Even the opposition lent us a player – Ollie Turtle nicknamed Turtleski, which boosted our numbers to 10 – game on!

On journeying to the field of battle with comrade Malkovitch we discussed team tactics, the RAF and even the joys of life in Fifeshire.  This particular ground at Stoke Row is dashed difficult to find, being hidden away, so the first challenge facing the comrades was to actually get there.   Comrade Vladimir lost the toss and The Maharajah’s CC elected to bat first.  The brave comrades of the SCC were still only at 9, feeling keenly the loss of our premier and opening bowler, but decided so start anyway, and The Maharajah’s, captained by the honourable Matt Kimber, lent us a fielder for the duration of our fielding session.

MAHAS CC v SCC – just lovely

Ex-capitalist Rob Muller, now christened Comrade Robski (not to be confused with the inimitable Rob Dixon), valiantly offered his services to keep wicket and with 1 man down Comrade Chipmunski stepped to the crease to take the opening over.  He bowled his maximum of 8 overs, during 2 spells, and in spite of the fact he did not manage to take a wicket, the Chipmunkski magic was evident throughout and there were a few close shaves which could easily have gone his way if fate had taken a different turn.  His bowling figures were 8 overs for 48 runs, giving away exactly 1 run per ball in Chipmunski precision.  Malik, now christened comrade Malikski, took the 2nd over, and in spite of his lengthily absence from cricket, swung the ball with such fervour that batsman, wicket keeper and first slip alike felt quite dizzy.  During his 2 spells totalling 8 overs he claimed 2 victims, both of the opening batsmen – George Lee and D.Watts, who had to be taken to counselling and hospital treatment for vision re-correction.  Both fell for 11 runs apiece.  George Lee was seen off by a beautiful ball rising to caress the top of the off stump and remove the bail in text book fashion.  D.Watts was caught by a frankly spectacular catch by Comrade Harriski, whose fielding performance during the game was nothing less than outstanding.  Comrade Malikski’s figures were 8 overs, 2 wickets for 60 runs.  Bowler number 3 was Comrade commissar Premier Yuri Pedez.  Arriving late for the game affected his performance considerably, and he did some proper damage to the opposition.  We must note to request that he arrives late more often in future.  During his 8 overs he took 4 wickets for 50 runs, an average of 12.5 runs per wicket, extremely impressive, and surely a candidate for the people’s choice man of the match!  He required no assistance from the comrades, clean bowling all of his victims, with lashings of the Yuri brilliance.  Sam Kimber, son of captain Matthew Kimber, went for 23 and Charlie wicket keeper for 25.  He later dispatched James Watts for a duck and Alan May for 5.  Bowler 4 was comrade Turtleski who put up a good performance in his 8 overs, despite being lent to us from the opposition.  Although he did not take a wicket, his figures were a respectable 8 overs for 44 runs.  Bowler 5 was comrade Malkovitch who distinguished himself very greatly during this game and who is also in line for the people’s choice man of the match.  During his 4 overs his figures were 1 for 22, dispatching Dan May for only 1 run to a good catch caught by Turtleski.  Bowler 6 was the Great Sewelski, who really put his all into this game.  His bowling statistics were 0 wickets for 15 runs during 2 overs, which is perfectly acceptable considering the batsmen at this point were taking no prisoners.  His vocal and acrobatic displays, not to mention the extraordinary effects he managed with the ball in jaw dropping gravity defying manoeuvres, made this a colourful 2 overs.  As a side note his fielding was also highly commendable, the majority of the balls during the game being hit at him.  The comrades wondered whether the opposition had planned this in advance.  Bowler 7 was Comrade Harriski who bowled a delightful and elegant 2 overs, claiming the wicket of Nathan May who had scored 11 runs.  This was a fantastic caught and bowled operation which was extremely commendable.  Comrade Harriski and Comrade Malikski therefore join the exclusive club for getting out batsmen for exactly 11 runs.

During the opposition’s batting innings it must be noted that Scott Harris scored a very impressive 125 runs not out, at which point her retired.  We nearly got him for 10, but as he lofted the ball in the air, it landed between 3 of our comrades who all endeavoured to catch it, but all 3 met in the middle and the ball hit the ground – bowling comrade Malikski, comrade Owenov, and opposition lent fielder Fnu Snu, who perhaps was secretly working this outcome.  It could be said that comrade Malikski thought it improper to get a man out on 10 runs, he would need to wait until he had achieved 1 more run before making the strike.  Perhaps therefore if the batsmen had crossed while the ball was in the air the result may have been different.  The tail end batsmen Andy Watts and captain Matt Kimber scored 12 and 13 respectively not out.  The Maharajah’s CC scored 268 runs in their 40 over innings for the loss of 8 wickets, leaving the comrades a tough challenge of 6.7 runs per over to win.  It was reported that the captain at this point said we didn’t stand a chance in xxx of winning the game, but this is pure speculation and he stands by his position of declaring it to be a tough challenge.

After a healthy match tea, the comrades took up the batting challenge.  Comrade Vlad faced the first ball and during the consequent overs managed to edge his way up to 46 runs before lofting a catch up off the tempting bowling of opposition captain Matthew Kimber to Andy Watts at mid off.  Other opening batsman Harris was sadly bowled by Jamie Watts, who in spite of his small size was a force to be reckoned with.  Even batsman number 3, The Great Sewelski, could not endure him and was dismissed LBW for 1 run.  Batsman 4 Malkovitch played the innings of his life, scoring an outstanding 50 runs not out.  The last run was scored on the last ball of the match, the honourable opposition member fielding at square leg taking slightly longer to pick up the ball than necessary in a gallant gesture to help crown comrade Malkovitch’s excellent performance and put the icing on the cake.  Batsmen 5 and 6, Comrades Malikski and Turtleski sadly fell in quick succession for 0 runs apiece, to the charms of opposition captain Matt Kimber, the tempter, who had also dispelled the Vladinator.  They were caught by family members Dan May and Nathan May respectively.  Robski batsman 7 put up a brave fight and scored 14 runs, but was caught by Alan May off D.Watts bowling.  Batsman 8 Comrade Owenoff was caught and bowled for 1 run off D.Watts, while batsman 9 comrade Chipmunski managed 4 runs before being bowled by Jamie Watts.  Last but not least comrade commissar premier Yuri batsman 10 notched up 4 runs not out, scoring neatly 1 run for every wicket he had taken.

We lost the match, comrades, but it was a victory that we made up the numbers in the nick of time, avoiding the awful situation of having to cancel the game.  The opposition were good sports, in spite of some over exuberant behaviour by some of the younger members, and a fixture I hope we can maintain for many years to come.  As captain, I said that if we could make 150 runs in our innings I would be happy.  People say be careful what you say, it may just happen.  At the end of our innings we had scored exactly 150 runs, comrade Malkovitch had just reached his 50 in the last ball of the game, and honour was maintained.  Splendid!

It must be noted that the opposition captain Matt Kimber said that playing the SCC is the Maharajah’s favourite fixture of the year.  If this isn’t a victory, comrades, I don’t know what is.  Royalty rubbing shoulders with communists hails the beginning of a new era.  I thank you all for a fine performance, an enjoyable afternoon and a credit to the Russian communist revolution!

Getting late



MATCH REPORT – SCC versus XILES CC – 7thMay 2017

XCC win by 10 overs
285 to 122

This home match for the SCC was interestingly played in Brighton. Patcham to be exact. We had hoped to play at St.James Montefiore but this was not to be. We may discount that pitch for future fixtures. But The Xiles CC kindly agreed to do a tea for us and we were soon all struggling to park at Patcham cricket pitch. There was then a small dilemma of having to unscrew the padlock from the door of the pavilion but we were soon in and the day stretched out before us like a heavy sea – much the same in shape as the pitch!

PAWS for applause

Dacha (Dan Woodhouse) was keen and eager to skipper us through this one and in his capable hands we were fielding first. Their opening pair of Scolze(?) and Hannant were not easy to shift. We kept their run rate as low as we could by opening with some zip from Ruboneoff  (Will Roberts) and Yuri’s lugubrious lobbing. Not easy and not always pleasant as they plugged away a refused to get out. Finally Yuri slid a long one up the leg of Hanant and took out the stump to boot. But all that did was release a the Hooper we know as Hooperoff. 

Stumped by Brandonovski

Bowling rotated to bring in Hodderoff and Chipmonkski. The run rate was beginning to rise, less due to the bowling but more the eyes snapping in as the overs progressed. But on we battled. Hodderoff exchanged in the bowling and Daggers comes in from the North end. So nice to see his flicky little wristy action. This proves enough and a smashing ball zips past a Scolze who was strolling down to smack it. Brandonovski wasn’t going to have that and with both hands clasped on the ball, he clatters the stumps down. Lovely. 

But that was the last wicket to fall. Bailey was walking out to bat and even swinging as he did so. Sadly this continued through his innings. He scored 118 and Hooper retired injured with 52 to bring on Hatrey who also added 31. We chucked all manner of things at them, even Skipper Dacha, who has a broken arm still in recovery. But it was that Bailey that did the damage. Psychology is a powerful mistress, I feel chins were heavier. At drinks it looked alright, at tea it looked ridiculous.

Patcham Cricket Pitch

Tea completed, we needed to set up a steady ship and bat liked we meant to draw. An option left open for us! Our openers were to the field, Vlad (Charlie Richards) and Ruboneoff (Will Roberts). This opening partnership were both surprising, different but delightfully ‘in’. Vlad was well off-book and knew his orders well. Dorothy and tactical runs were his bread and butter. Ruboneoff had us all frightened at first as her clattered shots about and ran with astonishing vigour, was he playing too aggressively? Not really, he worked hard at it and stayed in! Great stuff. Indeed our openers got through over 60 balls before Tulley forced a catch from Ruboneoff, exiting with 20 runs. The catch was actually not an easy over head two hander at a close mid-wicket.

On comes Dagleyev (Neil Dagley). He and Vlad set up shop. A partnership of 7 overs. Dagleyev is always a splendid watch and was keen to push the score up safely. He had his eye settling in on this raggedy wicket and with 20 to his name, slapped away a beefy stroke to the deep off. But Deep point man, JD (Hartley) collected it and Dagleyev was off and Brandonovski on.

Kathick was bowling well enough and he finally got our man, Vlad caught behind for 35. But great stability from our man from the steps and there for the first 21 overs is the kind of solidity we need to foster – not fester! Simon Woods, our new blood and his first game, then joined us. He had some very nice strokes on display but suddenly Brandonovski was walking home. A bouncier delivery from Kathick and straight onto his finger. It pitched up and was caught. Brando home for 5.

Hodderoff pads up

Owenoff was valiantly in and out, aureum anatis. Woods out next ball with a balletic LBW for 5. Yes comrades, the SCC disease was upon us! Hodderoff was there and the new replacement was Sewelski. Cometh the hour, cometh the birthday boy. His ninety three years barely showing as he opened up with two runs and all this despite a variety of bodily injuries. A few balls in and a sweeping hook brought a boundary 4 at fine leg for the celebrating, Sewelski. Birthday congrats! However just before that, Hodderoff hand his stumps removed by Karthick for 4. Then in a snap Sewelski was LBW for a very useful 10 runs.

Skipper Dacha (Dan Woodhouse) and Chipmonkski were now holding fort. But not for too long either. Dacha worried away a nice 13 but was then bowled by Matt and so the brothers, Yuir and Chip were there together – briefly. Not known for his skills with the bat, a little nick scored him a single before running for a second he was run-out off Matt.

There is no pretending it was close. We were whooped. Bailey was a very good bat and despite a reasonable bowling field, we couldn’t get to his stumps. We need to make sure that our bowling line-up ‘thinks’ some wickets – take a breath before running. We also suffered our frequent batting collapse. But in the old days, it wasn’t frequent, it was usual. So that’s good! Thank you Skipper, Dacha, all comrades and all PAWS – and thank you Xiles CC

Do Svidaniya!




MATCH REPORT – LEY HILL CC versus SCC – 23rd April 2017

Ley hill cc


A new fixture in the season. One that was, shall we say inherited from the unfortunate scattering of an opposition’s list in the confetti strewn path of history. But what a great fixture to have discovered. The rolling meadows of Bucks and the fortunately shining sun of an April Sunday made this great stage, and our luck further blossomed by the arrival of a very charming oppo. 

Yes, I have been drinking. Malbec.

Captain Jontin soon had our ten strong team in an order of some description and after a toss of the coin we were made to bat. Any future historian of the SCC will come to realise that we are not at our best when batting first but why confuse facts with glory and defeat? Our openers, Vlad and Analitch gallumped to the crease with a swagger of a well paid docker at a Glaswegian brothel. They set about the opening bowlers with a cautious trot. Vlad was impeccable. He provided a strong wall of Dorothy through which 35 balls made no impact for 40 minutes and 13 overs. This gave Analitch a chance to unwind and give sucker to his aching run sphincter. Over 72 minutes he notched an astounding 42 runs. 

In his support came Harrison with a tip chipping 10. Before being bowled by Batt. But a very pleasant session and with great promise for the season. Then the most wonderful return of Samovar to the SCC. Such a joy to have him back amongst us and a privilege too. Seeing his most famous spinning hook unleashed again filled us with hope. He created a very useful 28 before neing caught Alex off Woodley.

Will and Jon tin had a brief moment together at the crease but a distinct lack of vision helped the latter off abruptly and the formjer for 6. Chip, Soldya and Yuri were removed by an increasingly strong bowling field but Soldya fought on for 3. Yuri was given two bites at the cherry. The first for 0 in his usual potions style but his second charitable bash at 5.

So we had notched up 160 all out across 39 overs. A little help from 51 extras…… 51. Yep……. fifty one.

Tea was nice and I am a push over for a cherry bakewell.

Lown opened and scored 102. There’s no easy way to write that and not feel the rush of sick bile launch itself into your soft pallette so I thought I would just write it straight off. I mean he didn’t rush it, he was there for the 25 overs that they took to get 164 and beat us by 15 overs. He was accompanied by Batt and Woodley for 25 and 10 and finally, James for 8. Batt was delightfully bowled by Samovar and Analitch held a super wicky catch to scoop Woodley.  There were some pricey overs but the worse enemy was dropped catches. Yuri, myself, a terrible culprit. A tidy bowling spell of economic near misses, shat upon by dropping a peach. 

The match was lost but a great fixture gained. The pub opposite was also very effective in easing our sorrows. If we had a wrist bowler and another pace bowler….. we may, just may have had them!

Thank you, comrades. One and all.


LHCC v SCC 23April2017 LHCC Innings
LHCC v SCC_ SCC innings_23April2017

MATCH REPORT – SCC v MCA – 5th June 2016

MCA win by six wickets
scoring 129 for 4 off 25.4

SCC all out for 123 off 29.4

Isn’t Chiswick House lovely? It makes the whole day of cricket against splendid foes take on a sugary, shiny glow that lights up the dullest expression. And my God, the sunshine beat down too and this elevated even further the day. PAWS and kids, new bloods and chums, all enjoying the spirited gusto of an SCC day of cricket.

We lost of course, but not for the lack of trying and certainly for the lack of spirit. Captained by myself, Yuri, I lay the blame at my door for electing to bat first rather than field. If we had done it the other way around, we would have at least got more game in, but there we go!

Just after 1pm Vlad and Dacha strolled as our opening pair. The bowling assault began with McDonagh and Robert and it was fierce. Not a lot of leaves to be had and each ball requiring great discipline. Dacha was first to fall to Robert but he had put up a useful 14. Falling in behind him and falling out rapidly too were Yankheroff and Sewelski. Make no mistake though, Robert was a very hand bowler.

Brandonovski delivered a useful 36 minutes of resilience that calmed us a little. A lot of balls faced and kept off. Four doesn’t sound a huge score but it’s the stopping of the dam that was key here and Brandonovski deserves a lot of merit. A rushed score book prevents me from detailing what happened in detail hereafter but we heartily welcomed aboard Allenski ( Andy Allen ) who is my neighbour from across the road – and what a super neighbour to have onboard. Producing a handy 28 to Vlad’s 39 meant we were able to get some numbers on the board. Two other points of note of course to Hodderoff who amongst his 14 got a super six and another new-blood, Patrick Harrison (Still need a nickname) – A good friend and musical theatre supremo chum of mine!

Boys having a laugh
Boys having a laugh

MCA worked really hard and put up a great show on the field. Robert and Bacon bowling up a storm and taking 3 and 4 wickets respectively.

Tea was our success and congratulations and thanks to all of the comrades who came together to produce a lovely tea for all. Well done.

We took to the field. One very long boundary and a tempting short one. Lots of space to fill and cover. Bowling attack lead excellently by Dacha and Hodderoff. Second over and Hodderoff bowls Benz for 8. A hot start! And in the 8th and 9th overs  two more wickets, First was Duffield and then Kilshaw, bowled and caught and bowled by Dacha and Allenski respectively – What an inaugural match for new comrade, Allenski!

It briefly at this point, felt like we had a chance but it slipped away. Their run-rate was steady and we couldn’t get the bails off. Fraser ended the day with a superb six up and away to the entrance end of the pitch. Goreat play.

A lovely day of cricket and rightful win by MCA. Good sport, comrades!



MATCH REPORT – SCC v BXCC Sunday 19th July 2015


SCC Win 4 ball remaining scoring  161 for 9 off 39.2 overs
BXCC 160 of 40 overs


Match Report written by Comrade Valdimir Boringski.

I was greatly honoured to receive the request from our honoured leader Comrade Commissar Tsar Yuri Pedez to captain the SCC against our old rivals the Brighton Exiles.  In preparation for this I set about a week of strategic and tactical planning in conjunction with a juice only diet, cold showers, and even a brief trip to Red Square to attend a Marxist Rally.  I was delighted to have Comrade Cobramavitch as Vice Captain, who provided invaluable support and advice at critical moments before and during the game – my sincere thanks to him and his well-deserved Milk Tray.  As for the comrades, fresh in our memories still was our epic and extraordinary victory against the Brighton Exiles last year.  We had amassed a healthy batting score in the first innings, but the Exiles looked set to overtake us and secure victory.  However, in a jaw dropping finish, as if by some divine intervention, the Exiles could not find the boundaries and even Comrade Vlad took 3 wickets in the his last 2 overs in spite of calamitous bowling.  As the last ball trickled beneath the batsman’s bat and found the stumps, the Exiles walked off the pitch in absolute silence, in total dumbfounded stupor as to how they could have lost what seemed like an unlosable match.  Even the birds stopped singing for a while.  A car arrived shortly after to take opposition captain Dave Hooper straight to anger management classes.  The perfect end to a perfect day was to have the privilege to ride back to London in Comrade General Cobramavitch’s Mercedes V8 Slinkmobile.

Equipment of war Analitch
Equipment of war Analitch

Memories aside, this year I met with Vice Captain Comrade Cobramavitch and Comrade Analitch at The Hammersmith Appollo of the People’s Rebublic shortly after 10.30am and we cruised down together in the aforementioned Mercedes V8 Slinkmobile to St James’s Montefiore near Brighton.  The auspices looked good.  Not a mention of gas or electricity bills from Comrade Vlad on the journey down, although the fruit and spice of conversation almost caused Comrade General to veer off the road; but not quite!  On arriving at the ground, the sun was shining and the day looked well set for a good game.  Captain Vlad took to the pitch with Captain Hooperov for the toss.  Vlad won the toss and elected to field first, and opt for a 40-40 game (40 overs each way).  All was going according to his plan.  He realised that the SCC bowling and fielding side was not as strong as it could be; par contre he saw that there was a very strong batting side including 2 secret weapons.  As a result of this his strategy involved lulling the opposition into a false sense of security by allowing them to bat first and score conservatively, not realising that we had a might of secret communist power in our batting ranks that would allow us to steam to victory.  Comrade Dacha’s Lenin and Marx coins were on the changing room windowsill to further strengthen this plan.

As the comrades took to the field to start the fielding offensive, I was anticipating damage limitation from our brave, but not so strong bowling / fielding side.  I was utterly mistaken.  What followed was 40 overs of the finest fielding I have ever seen by the SCC, and outstanding bowling in addition.  I was truly humbled.  Comrade Hodderov took the first 6 overs from the People’s Republic End and gave a very fine performance.  Simultaneously Comrade Chipmunski bowled 8 overs from the People’s Pavilion End and, although a little apprehensive of his bowling, bowled the 8 best overs of his life; the comrades were ‘oohing and aahhing’ at his deliveries which went past the bat, and a snick catch to first slip was sadly not taken as the first slip was still on a train to from London to Brighton nursing a hangover.  Comrade Dacha then bowled 6 overs from the People’s Republic End in another very fine performance.  The first wicket fell at his hands after a patient wait by the SCC – a glorious bowling, and P. Stead was off back to the pavilion.  2 balls later on the very first ball of Comrade Robski’s 2 over spell from the People’s Pavilion End, was the ‘Captain’s ball of the match’ – in came Robski, very reluctant to be asked to bowl, but bravely stepping up to the challenge.  A moderate paced ball slightly to off side, placed and pitched with strategic brilliance to entice opposition captain Comrade Hooperov aka ‘The Bull’.  The Bull, wily as he is, fell for this ploy, and cut the ball straight to Comrade Analitch at point who leapt up in the air and grabbed the ball out of the air to take an outstanding catch.  The slow motion replay of this victorious wicket will stay with me to my communist deathbed.  2 opponents felled in 3 balls, the seeds of the SCC victory had just been sewn.  Bowler number 4, Comrade Soldya then bowled 6 overs from the People’s Pavilion End in a very good spell in spite of the copious amounts of alcohol still in his system (Russian vodka one would hope) – the first 2 of these overs were so tricky that the batsmen struggled to leave their creases.  Bowler number 5 from the People’s Republic End was Comrade Daglyev, always a welcome addition to the SCC side.  In his 6 overs he made the opposition very uncomfortable and ravaged through them like a warm knife through butter.  7 spectacular wickets – David Bailey lbw, Kartinck lbw, Harvindor bowled; Pete Tulley, Steve, Adam, Pete Tulley innings 2 were all caught – comrade Cobra took one at first slip, Comrade Dacha took another 2 and one taken by an unknown comrade – well done!  Comrade Hodderov took a wicket in his last over, a brilliant catch taken by Robski at third man.  Such was the strength and vigour of the SCC bowling and fielding side that the Brighton Exiles did not even last the full 40 overs; they trailed off to the pavilion, tails between their legs, all out for 160 during the 35th over.  A mention to Comrade Brandonovsi, the mighty Pete Brandon, on an excellent wicket keeping performance.  Also to Comrade Analitch for litheness in the field, both for the SCC and for the Exiles, and his positive mental attitude during the game, even after his lbw dismissal in the next innings.


After a delicious tea, provided by Comrade Chipmunski and his wife, the SCC comrades set to batting.  Comrade Vlad, assisted by advice from Comrade Cobramavitch, changed the batting assault plan to adjust to the circumstances.  We needed 161 runs to win off 40 overs, a modest rate of 4 runs per over.  Since we had a strong batting side, victory was in sight and indeed seemed like an easy cruise.  Not wishing to humiliate the opposition by grinding their dirty capitalist faces into the good communist mud, he put comrade Daglyev, secret weapon number 1, from batting position number 3 down to 8, so as to provide communist strength in reserve in case of need; other batting positions were adjusted so as to make for an interesting and good spirited game.  Comrade Captain asked the communist colleagues if any of them particularly wanted or did not want to bat.  Comrades Brandonovski and Chipmunski spoke forth and so Vlad, not given to autocracy or dictatorship, moved them up the order to 3 and 5 respectively from their original positions of 10 and 11. He was therefore surprised when each of them in turn choked on their sandwiches when he communicated this to them during the tea break.

Behold Brandonovski
Behold Brandonovski

Tea over and Comrade Lt. General Markov Cobramavitch opened the batting with Comrade Vladimir Boringski.  Comrade Cobramavitch offered a performance of true communist grit, scoring a solid 22 runs in an epic innings lasting 16 hours and 42 minutes.  Comrade Vlad hit a nice 4 run boundary, Comrade Analitch’s powerful bat guiding the ball easily through midwicket.  However, the strain of captaincy possibly taking its toll on him, he was dismissed lbw by opposition bowler Duleep for 5 runs.  A more cynical communist might have muttered that the ball was going at least a foot down leg side and that comrade umpire Chipmunski could be seen to visibly smile at the decision, patting his hand on the crisp 100 rouble note in his pocket, handed to him surreptitiously by the bowler the previous ball.  However, Comrade Vlad knew better than that, and retired to the pavilion without questioning his communist comrade, with the bruise on his left rib cage from an earlier ball which had bounced up menacingly.  Comrade Brandonovski, the mighty Pete Brandon, then strode confidently to the crease, as is his custom, and scored a valiant 16 runs; well done comrade!  Comrade Captain’s secret weapon number 2 then strode out to the crease – Jon Fowler aka ‘Ivan the Terrible’.  Vlad was now umpiring and issued himself a wry smile as the debutant was about to unfold his wrath on the quite frankly disgusting capitalists.  However, the tight opposition bowling, in combination with unpredictable and nasty bouncing of the ball was too much, and Comrade Ivan was unlucky to find a ball bounce up sharply and come off his bat on to the stumps.  Bad Luck, Ivan, but we hope you will come back to join us another time.

Must be our innings
Must be our innings

The opposition were now beginning to sense that what had initially seemed would be an easy SCC victory, now looked increasingly like it might be an Exiles victory.  Captain Vladimir, now umpiring, had a temporary moment of despair, and realised all his strategies and plans might come to nothing, and his sportsmanlike communist aims might have been too conservative.  His head was in his hands.  However, Comrade Brandonovski rallied to him and gave him some good solid Yorkshire advice that the decisions made had been founded on firm principles.  Comrade Vlad took to his position again with renewed hope.  Chipmunkski was next to bat; a good innings, but he fell to the bowling of Harvindor.  Comrade Analitch was next in.  The Comrade Captain umpire was pleased to see that Analitch’s batting performance had improved in bounds and strides since the beginning of the season, and now looked very confident with solid strokes.  The Captain was therefore disappointed to have to give him out lbw to Bailey’s difficult bowling.  Comrade Robski was next in, but fell victim to the bowling of Harvindor.

Soldya livin it
Soldya livin it

Many runs still left to get, very few overs left to get them in.  We were in need of a miracle.  One man was fit for the job, and in he came – secret weapon number 1, Comrade ‘Dynamite’ Daglyev, the people’s hero.  Even so, the Comrade Captain thought it might be too late, even for the people’s hero to change the fortune of the game; the hill left to climb was very steep, and there was little time left.  Comrades Dacha and Hodderov sought to aid him as best they could in these difficult circumstances, swiping at the ball to try and claw back the desperately needed runs.  However, they Exiles bowling was too tight and strong and they both fell.  Worthy of note was Hodderov’s first ball which he glanced beautifully down to the fine leg boundary for 4 runs.  Final batsman and our last hope then came to the crease, weaving from side to side due to the high percentage of alcohol still in his blood stream – Comrade ‘Mad Hatter’ Soldya.  His aim – TO STAY IN!!!!  He must hold up the other end while Daglyev sets about his task.  The normally joking and man of comedic brilliance showed none of this jocularity, striding helmeted to the crease with steely reserve.  The target seemed unreachable and yet not impossible.  Things seemed to be going to The Exiles’ way.  Daglyev, although an outstanding batsman, was not quite in flow and there seemed to be something blocking; the run rate needed getting ever higher each over.  As a last resort, the Comrade Captain umpire looked up to the heavens and prayed to his God to intervene.  As if in answer, there came a turning point in which the fortunes of the SCC suddenly lifted.  Daglyev wielded the bat with elegance and flair, stroking shots to the boundary with graceful ease, while still managing to hold the strike.  Even Comrade Soldya, when unexpectedly finding himself 3 balls to face took on the challenge.  His aim was just to say in.

Order of Lenin
Order of Lenin

However, Comrade Captain from leg umpire could not help but feel that the SCC communist ethic does not rely solely on defensiveness.  He shouted in very un-umpire fashion “Come on Soldya, show them what you are made of!”  As if in response the comrade, tasked only to block, smashed the ball over the bowler’s head to the boundary for 4 runs.  Superb!  The hopes of the SCC were raised.  The flow continued, Daglyev steered us to victory with skilful shots and with only 4 balls to spare; Daglyev 63 not out.  Final Score 161 for 9 off 39.2 overs.  Once again, Comrade Hooperov fuming at defeat and a sense of being robbed, and a car on its way to take him to anger management classes!  Comrade Vlad would therefore like to request that Comrade Daglyev receive the Order of Lenin for his brilliant contribution to the game and also for his allegiance to the SCC over the last year.  Also he would like to request the Order of Marx for the team as a whole for their outstanding effort and performance.

Well done comrades and all hail the SCC.  It was an honour to captain you for the day!


AGM minutes, Tuesday 3rd February 2015

Judge Yuri
Judge Yuri


Behold, scrumptious minutes scrawled and reinterpreted by my good self which report the stunning pantomime of serious intent, which was our AGM. None of you would enjoy it or take any pleasure from it, so please continue to avoid it like the plague so that we may bear the strain of leadership and bleed before your eyes, the tears of burden.

Let the detail commence:

YURI – comrade commissar premier

  • A huge turn-out of five attended:
    • Cobramovich
    • Ilyeva
    • Jontin
    • Vlad
    • Yuri
  • All were welcomed.

comrade commissar treasurer

  • Ilyeva presented the statements of account which were accepted. Comrade commissar Jontin noted that in all of his time dealing with sums, figures, balance sheets and accounting forms, he had never seen such a set of figures.
  • In regards to the bank, it was agreed that the 20-20 matches had upheld the accounts in the black.
  • We must consider carefully the hosting of matches as they cost us.
  • Membership fees are to go up to £50 from £40 but this includes the charitable donation which is remaining at £20.
  • It was noted that other clubs’ fees are still substantially higher than ours.
  • SCC hosted matches are to be charged at £15 whilst away matches are still £10. Remember that SCC hosted matches are quite rare and always superb!
  • After much discussion, the AGM voted in favour of benefiting only Parkinson’s UK from last year’s available charitable funds. Royal Marsden had already benefited from £1,200.00 and more the previous years. The amount we shall pay from last year’s fees and reserves is to be discussed further and reported back before matches commence this year.
  • More use will be made of the charity donation tins at all matches. No more hiding away.


COBRAMOVICH in place of BRANDONOVSKI comrade commissar quartermaster

  • Apologies presented to Yuri from Brandonovski. He was unable to attend due to the illness of the club mascot, Walwynski.
  • It is hoped that the Quartermaster will provide a small report on last season’s kit and equipment.
  • Cobramovich asked us to ensure that logins and passwords are available for Serious Cricket site.
  • In regards to the SCC and Serious Cricket, their range is now improved and all of the SCC should check out this new delight of goodies.

COBRAMOVICH – comrade commissar cultural attache

  • At this point, chips were ordered.
  • In a drive to bring in PAWS as well as their players, Cobramovich suggested that this season we strive to have some Tee Shirts made up which bear the SCC logo, big and proud. Great idea and unanimously supported. Brando and Cobramo to arrange.
  • NEW MEMBERS’ event  to be Russian themed.
    • Vodka tasting
    • Prize event?
    • Aim to make it Friday 1st May 2015.
    • To my memory, Cobramovich will lead the organising.
  • La tour d’Oxford 2015. (Deal with my terrible French, Soldya!) The Stoke Row tour covers two days with a night between which would admirably suit a team dinner. These are hellish events to organise as people need to sleep and eat in the same place. But the idea was mooted. There is apparently a suitable pub. Feelers will be put out.
  • COBRAMOSIZE to be brought back. More publicity and an attendance drive for this worthwhile pre-season body and soul work out. Can be adjoined to a nets session.
    • Cobramovich was pleased with the games at the beginning and the end of the season, LMS and Xiles. Very kind words in regards to Yuri at LMS. Quite splendidly impressed by the comrades’ performance in Brighton for the Xiles victory. Great depth and ability exhibited. Dagleyev shone! And Vlad mentioned that even the birds stopped singing during the excitement at the close of play.
    • Jontin Stoke Row. Great victory, well deserved and only mired by one of our own players and a pity.  Quote from captain Jontin, “If you’re in, stay in!” – who can argue with that. He held a firm hand on the match and is remorseless – splendid captaincy, Jontin. Lindfield – Another splendid victory. A match of three halves.  Jontin is keen on batting first – a brief rustle of consternation – but so we did. Yuri brought back in to bowl fora second time after a first stint under-performing. Made a difference – Jontin providing a second chance. Team spirit talk really helped save us. Favourite quote of the match was between Sewelski and Jontin, the latter saying it was time to get back into the match, Sewelski returning, “No Jont’s, let’s go and win it!”. Brava!
    • Yuri could remember little of the matches he captained due to the intense excitement. However, de did recall a general note which was how superb Hodderoff was as an opening bat. Then we discussed some general captaining points:
      • When both bats realise the need for the weaker to sacrifice themselves, that event must be planned for and signalled clearly by the captain… And acted upon.
      • Secret communications required when in bat and VC to take over when captain is batting.
      • Captaincy training.
    • NEW captains: Ilyeva and Vlad (Boringski) elected to captain a match this coming season and those from last year to be accommodated also. These can be either 20-20 or 40 over. Soldya required to captain Keble match.
    • We must develop a Man of the Match system.
  • YURI – AOB
    • Royal Marsden, David Adams’ appeal challenge.
      Significant debate was made over this annual fixture due to its cost and the fact that we nearly always lose out financially. The decision was to drop it unless we could get a suitable sponsor to reduce the costs for each player below £100. So who could sponsor us? Possibly Union? Maybe Finn if there was an option to pitch for Royal Marsden work obligation. To investigate.
    • A winner’s meal (was it for Comrades’ comrade winner?) was considered at 10 Greek Street. good idea, but who is the winner and of what? Please remind me.
    • VLAD: Let us have another field practice session as we did several seasons ago. This proved VERY popular and was previously played near Hampstead. LINK HERE to previous session. Let’s organise this, Yankheroff, fancy a planning session?
      Vlad also suggested another fixture, the details of which have gone to Yankheroff.
    • Separate call out for PAWS (Partner, wives and singles) to build a boundary side community and ensure support for all, players and mothers alike! Free T-Shirts!!!


20/20 Beer
Good Beer
  • FIXTURES AND DATES – courtesy of hard work by Yankheroff, 20-20 support by Cobramovich and Brandonovski.
      An exciting summer of cricket lies ahead, comrades, with capitalist opposition both old and new. Traditional fixtures such as VCC, Xiles, Chesham, Linfield and Penn St are all in place, alongside a return to Stoke Row (with potential for a weekend mini-tour) and the summer is book-ended with home and away fixtures against our friends LMS. We also have new fixtures against Believers CC (thanks Soldya) and another attempt with Keble College in Oxford, which fell foul of the capitalist weather last June.
      I do need some help securing grounds for the VCC match in June and the Xiles match in July (I have made repeated enquiries with St James & Montefiore, to no avail. Maybe Chipmunkski can have a word?) Can I leave this with you lot please, as any day now I will be going off grid!



  • Sunday 26th – POSSIBLE Hildenborough CC v SCC (LINK TO HCC)
  • MAY

  • Friday 1st May – NEW MEMBERS’ DRINKS
  • Sunday 10th – LMS CC v SCC @ Southgate
  • Friday 15th – F4 20/20 – Round 1 – Pitch 1:  VCC v SCC
  • Saturday 16th – Penn St CC v SCC @ Penn St
  • Wednesday 20th – possible David Adam’s appeal tournament in Teddington: Link
  • Friday 29th – F4 20/20 – Round 2 – Pitch 1:  SCC v Tavs
  • JUNE

  • Saturday 6th June – Keble College 2nd XI v SCC @ Keble Sports Ground, Oxford
  • Sunday June 21st – SCC v VCC @ GROUND NEEDED PLEASE
  • JULY

  • Saturday July 4th – TBC v SCC @ TBC (potential tour match in Stoke Row area, LINK: NETTLEBED? )
  • Sunday July 5th – Stoke Row CC v SCC @ Stoke Row
  • Sunday July 19th – Xiles CC v SCC @ St James’ & Montefiore
  • Friday 24th – F4 20/20 – Finals – Pitch 1:  LMS v SCC  / Awards Presentation
  • Friday 31st – SCC v BOLCC 20/20 annual

  • Friday 7th – Linfield CC v SCC @ Linfield
  • Sunday 16th – Believers CC v SCC @ Battersea Park
  • Sunday 30th – Chesham Bois CC v SCC @ Chesham Bois


  • Sunday 20th Sept – SCC v LMS CC @ Chiswick Park



Any attendees or contributors to the AGM who remember things differently or would like to note changes or omissions to these minutes, please email me and I shall make suitable corrections.

Many thanks for your works and interest, comrades all.

Do Svidaniya!

MATCH REPORT Lindfield CC v SCC 8th August 2014

SCC won by 7 runs over 40 over match
SCC scoring 215 for 3
LCC scoring 208 for 5


Comrades! How special is this blog? It is very special! We won a 40 over match at Stoke Row but for various reasons, there was a slight odour that clinged to the result, caused by a small crack in the understanding of our motto. The following match was a tight and fascinating 20/20 tie and then time led us south to Sussex and to Lindfield Cricket Club – the village being my birthplace and home for many years until lured to London. Our annual fixture at Lindfield then, is laced with history, happy memories and challenge, for they rarely put out a poor eleven.

Our captain for the day was Comrade Commissar Captain Jontin (who also labours under the pseudonym of Jonathan Savitt). Again, an appointment that was most weighty in its nature, for last year, his captaincy at the same fixture was only half complete as the weather swept us away. Would that happen this year? Well it felt a little uncertain but rest assured, we got the game completed.

Completed? No, that doesn’t sum up the match at all! WE WON – WE BLOODY WON!! And we did it the hard way too. We batted first and notched up a good total for us. Then we fielded, lost direction and then had to pull ourselves together to stop them reaching our tally. Superb comradery, captaincy and determination – I salute you all comrades. So from here I want to hand the job of match reporting to our skipper, Jontin:

“Comrades. I would like to thank each and everyone of you for an outstanding effort at Lindfield. This was indeed a fine cricket match played in exactly the right spirit. To win in increasing gloom made it all the sweeter. Despite some minor ‘whipping’ required in my aristocratic capacity as captain – when after 20 overs the oppo were 126 – 2 – the reaction was extraordinary with all players participating in preventing the opposition gaining success. I am sure Yuri will highlight some of the outstanding individual performances when he finds the moment to offer a match report. But Dagliev for his record breaking ton, Hooperov for a well timed additional half century were exceptional. In the field everyone performed but special mention to Chipmonski for removing their youthful bludgeoning opener. Soldya for 6 beautiful overs plus a catch at a timely moment. Cobramovich for smashing mints everywhere.”

Cobramovich likes to mints

Cobramovich likes to mints

“In addition Yankerov for again bowling two outstanding spells and Yuri who I never lost faith with, Robski behind the stumps in total gloom was a marvel. But for me the entire spirit of the SCC was summed up by Sewlski who did everything humanly possible in the field to prevent runs along with Charlie in with boundary defying brilliance.”

“…and then there was myself. It is simply enough for me to say to all of you a gracious thank you for a wonderful few hours of cricket – before the heavens opened after the match had concluded. Let cricket be the winner maybe….but certainly the Soho Collective.”

We salute you comrade commissar captain, Jontin!

Do Svidaniya!

LCC v SCC 2014 LCC innings
LCC v SCC 2014 LCC innings


LCC v SCC 2014 Our innings


Stoke Row CC
Stoke Row CC

SCC won by 33 Runs with 148 all out

SRCC at 115 runs all out
40 over match timed match



Stoke Row CC is a brand new fixture and came out of our great game at Stonor a couple of years ago. It’s a very pretty village and the ground is neatly filed at the top of the high street and conveniently close to a very nice pub – our kind of ground! Surrounded by trees and beneath a warm sky of dark, flat clouds and sunshine, the weather behaved itself and we got under way.

Skipper Jontin

Under the fine skipperage of comrade commissar Jontin, we set to the game. It’s true that comrade commissar Jontin is a firm hand upon the tiller, it’s true that he is stiff of voice and firm in approach, but there is no doubt that he is the right man to be stiff and firm once taken in hand.

Taking guard together was opener Marx-B and Yankheroff. The former was to settle in for a good long stretch, but sadly not Yankheroff. Caught May off Roberts. Marx was in true form and not off anywhere in a hurry.

Up to the crease followed Busteroff adding 9 to the score and then Conbramovich. This fine gentleman of cricket was to be seen scampering back and forth with Marx, each passing each other in a graceful manner. However after adding 13 he was taken by A.Roberts.

Twizzle showed great flash and panache and knocked up a commendable 32. This was a great addition and put a slight air of unrest amongst the oppo. He was eventually LBW to Kimber, but this knock put us up on the map.

Another knock of note is 17 scored by Soldya. Great ball placement and a vigorous demeanor. So when finally we were all NINE out for 148, I feel we had a made a fairly good bash.

Doleful Soldya
Soldya preparing for his knock

And now for tea – THE VICTORIA SPONGE was gorgeous!

Bowling opened with Yankheroff and myself, Yuri. It took a while to work ourselves up into a stew, but we kept good economy and kept their run rate down. And then the wood began to tumble. Yankheroff was outstanding and  bowled two, LBW another caught another later on!

I obliged with a niggley wicket and my new and amusing skippy run-up. Caused souly by my lack of effort in measuring out my run! But talking of run-ups, Soldya provided just what the atmosphere required – a breath taking run up of 100 yards! That had everyone tittering and remembering the point of an amateur Sunday XI game – fun.

Say what
He called me a what?

Hats off to Twizzle – Skipper advised him to lower his pace below 80mph and he took it down to 79.8 – which was generous!! He slammed into the wickets of May, Roberts and Kimber and those balls that didn’t hit the stumps, were later found in Middlesex.

Chipmonkski was wicky for the majority of the match and made great work with his hands and I must also commend skipper Jontin for helping scoring whilst i made my brief journey to the crease.

We got them all out on the 30th over leaving them on 115.

Comrades, from the bottom of my heart and on behalf of us all who form the SCC, I say congratulations and thank you. May we preserve forever the memory of this game in our hearts for it showed us that victory is possible for us, that comradery is a key element to our play and that if we lose sight of FUN in our team, we lose the point in playing at all.



SCC_innings_V_StokeRow 2014
SRCC innings 2014 Stoke row
SRCC innings 2014 Stoke row