5 wickets, 139 in 24 overs
VCC running 138 in 30 overs
Comrades, vice-captain on the day, Soldya (Dan March) presents you with his lyrical match report:
In homage to Lewis Carroll please find a match report in verse:
18th June. Hampstead Heath.
The Walrus & the Vladinator.
The sun was shining on the Heath,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The willows smooth and bright–
And this was odd, because it was
mid- June, which is normally shite.
The VCC was whining sulkily,
Because they thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After play had begun–
“It’s very rude of him,” they said,
“To come and spoil the fun!”
Dacha was fast as fast could be,
Soldya was slow as slow.
You could not see a run because
No run came from willow:
No sixes were flying overhead–
There were no sixes for show.
The Walrus and the Wazza
Started to make a stand:
But Wazza wept like anything to see
Malky’s slip catch go to hand:
“If he had, what I like to call, dropped it,”
Walrus said, “it would be grand!”
“0 Simon, come and bat with us!”
The Walrus did beseech.
“A pleasant walk, a pleasant run,
Along the green-grass pitch:
We can do with many a four,
To put us out of reach.”
The future SCC bat did look at him,
But never a word said he;
The future Commie winked his eye,
And shook his Newbury–
Meaning to say he did not choose
To sign up for the VCC.
As forty one runs Si hurried up,
the Walrus in the heat –
His face all flushed, his whites all crushed,
retired, on twenty nine, dead beat,—
Then he lay down under the marquee,
A big, slab of Capitalist meat.
Another wicket fell to Dacha’s blast,
Lbw Willcox for six, no more;
And thick and fast they came at last,
Si caught Will bowled Yuri, hear the roar!
All running to congratulate the catch,
And the slowing of the score.
The Walrus still lay prone
As Malky’s maiden wicket struck,
Cem for two runs alone
Pouched Harrison with skill not luck:
And all the little VCC’s stood
And muttered a silent ‘fuck’.
“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of, what I call, spikes–and slips–and linseed-wax–
Of dot balls–and stumpings–
And why Hampstead’s boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”
“But wait a bit,” the VCC cried,
“Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And the Don is yet to bat!”
“No hurry!” said the Charlie.
They thanked him much for that.
“The SCC are falling apart,” the Walrus cried,
Sewelleski bowling with grunts and width:
Don racking up fifteen runs
Looking for a sixteenth–
Then Yuri returning to the fray,
Bowled him – the man, the myth.
Steve and Darren completed the score,
1-3-8 the total to chase.
After such fielding, and bowling
Not one SCC did disgrace
“The score is fine,” the Walrus said,
Sweat pouring from his face.
And so t’was time for tea to come!
The sarnies were very nice!
The players said nothing but
“Water please with extra ice!”
The sun still blazed upon them all–
Sunburn (and match fee) their price.
“It seems a shame,” the Brando said,
“To play them such a trick.
After we’ve brought them out so far,
And got them out so quick!”
The Walrus said nothing but
“My head feels what I call, very thick!”
And so the Vlad and Analich
Strode manly to the crease
The Anal one returning soon
His bails had been released
The Don had bowled him by surprise
At zero his score did cease.
Commie Vlad batted valiantly on
Young Harrison by his side
A mop of hair, nine runs, then out,
So Malkovich to the middle did stride
Off the mark – the joy -then Wazza -oh boy,
The death rattle – Malky’s innings died.
As Vlad stroked eleven glorious fours
Brando arrived just oozing ‘cricket’!
Taking guard, imperious, such confidence
Blocking two, just the ticket.
Then Wazza once more (future SCC for sure)
Got our comrade leg before wicket (and very plum!)
Ah Sewellski – wielding bat like twig
A four, three more, then woe!
Willcox turned him inside out
And back to the marquee he must go.
Seventy for five. Things not looking great.
Young Ruboneoff entered the show.
“I weep for me,” the Walrus said:
“I deeply sympathize.”
With sobs and tears from his sick bed
He saw the Commie total rise,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
“O Commies,” said the VCC,
“You’ve hit another run!
Shall we be trotting home again?”
But answer came there none–
And this was scarcely odd, because
The SCC had absolutely battered them – Yes. WE’D WON!
Comrades, the VCC scoring of our bowling is really a bit of a mess and overs have been attributed all over the place. PLEASE advise me of your corrections ASAP!