DRAW of timed game
PSCC scoring 213 for 5 over 38 overs
SCC scoring 100 for 9

Match report by comrade commissar adjutant and captain on the day, Soldya, Dan March.

THE PENN IS NOT MIGHTIER THAN THE LORD (JONTIN)

Ahh Communists – this is the tale of how the Collective fought valiantly that sunny Saturday of 16th May. Into the valley of Amersham rode, strode and err ‘goed’ The Eleven of the SCC – travelling all the way to zone 9 (and beyond) to the land of the Penn Streeters.

Lord Walrus Jontin Black Knight the Third (Son of Stalin) did lose the toss and they elected to bat. A timed game ruled that we should bowl as many as we could/should until 4.30ish and then after tea we should be bowled at until they could stand no more.

Thus the opening bowling partnership of Hodderov and Chipmunski did let rip with some pure communistic deliveries – deserving wickets (but life isn’t always fair eh comrades?) the pair did succeed in restricting their opening partnership of Sutherland and Mitchell to 53 off 12 overs. In fact Chipmunski’s first 8 overs only cost 22 runs – any gulag would be proud of such miserliness. An inspired bowling change by our glorious capitalist leader brought Hooperov to the fore and he duly delivered with a brace of fine wickets – each bowled victim having just been preceded by a dropped catch (lulling the Penns into our leader’s trap) – his 4 overs, 2 for 10 even more deserving of praise as he was nursing an injury. This was accompanied by some excellent fielding from Boringski off Chipmunski’s bowling – picking the ball up beautifully in mid-wicket his pin-point throw to Robski and dithering running from Mitchell meant a fine run-out and suddenly Penn St were reduced to 63 for 3…could this be our day Comrades?

In a word – No. Exton and Martin compiled a steady 50 partnership, although our glorious leader Jontin Stalingrad Jontinovski the Eighth could/should/would have had an LBW or two but their imperialist umpires were unmoved. Then somehow – perhaps inspired by his Captain’s faith in giving him a six over spell – Soldya fashioned a delivery which pitched outside off but spun in to remove all three stumps…errr,well actually just tickling the bails off  (which is how our leader likes it) and thus they were 117-4. Was there hope Comrades? Again the word is ‘No’ – as Adams joined Exton to bludgeon all we could throw at them. After one mighty six the ball was lost for several minutes in the woods which reduced the number of overs they could face – ah the joys of a timed game! This then became Jontin’s new master plan and we duly lost the ball on two, if not three, further occasions. There were some difficult chances dropped in the field with balls flying like bullets (something our Captain is no stranger to) however one fine, wondrous catch was a thing of beauty to behold: Soldya, in the final over, was lofted high, high, ever higher into the air and Chipmunski (in the perfect field position) steadied himself with admirable Left-wing calmness and pouched a corker! Joy unconfined as the pair had put on nearly 100 in 12 overs – ouch! The final score of 213-5 would have been higher had it not been for fine athletic fielding all round with special mention to Sewellski, new blood Analich and Cobramovich’s right buttock. A stiff total to beat but our Captain confided in me that he had no fear.

An excellent match tea, including a rather delightful fruit salad, stiffened our sinews (pleasing our glorious leader) for the fight and our opening comradely partnership of Cobramovich and Hooperov looked majestic and unbeatable in the middle. At 17- 0 off 6 overs the pair were easing in to a long and match winning partnership when…what was this? An appeal for LBW?… the umpire raised his finger and Cobra must return to his Siberian snake charmer’s lair – our hissing comrade suffering double vision over the decision, perhaps caused by his throbbing buttock. Ah but Boringski – fresh from his excellent innings against LMS was sure to steady the ship…but luck was not on his side as Goodie took his second wicket with the ball not bouncing and somehow flicking onto the stumps – dreadful luck. Brandonovski then strode to the wicket fresh from his umpiring duties and returned not long after having failed to trouble the scorer. The SCC were 33-3 off 16, not a million miles behind Penn St at this stage. However their first change bowler Adams (the self-same Adams who plundered 58 from 32 deliveries) ripped the heart – but never the spirit – out of the SCC batting line-up. In his opening spell he dismissed Analich (another LBW), Sewellski ( third highest scorer with 6) and Jontin (his bails ripped off behind his back – damn those Imperialist swine). When Wartack returned to bowl Robski for a big fat zero, poor comrade Hooperov had seen 7 valiant comrades fall. But young Hodderov is made of sterner stuff and the two seemed set fair to bat out the remaining overs. But disaster! Oh ye Communist Gods (if they existed) how could ye do this to us – after 57 scintillating runs Hooperov hit his own stumps with still 6 overs to face. With Soldya nervously walking to the crease it seemed that all hope was gone – a streaky edged 4 through the slips put hearts in mouths but somehow he and the excellent Hodderov negotiated the next 5 overs…the final over and Adams returned to the fray. His second ball a rip snorting yorker and Hodderov had to depart. Step forward Chipmunski – (with Soldya at the non-striker’s end bravely shouting ‘Please don’t run, you take the last 4 balls’) – another rip snorting yorker – blocked brilliantly, and another – blocked, and another – blocked…one ball to come…wayward, down leg side – but the umpire doesn’t signal wide (oh brave leftist umpiring)…and it is A DRAW comrades…a mighty, mighty draw. Fine captaincy, excellent fielding and resolute defence has ensured that the Penn can not write another victory in their scorebook. WELL DONE SCC. Semper soldales, fors et victores.