Tag: Brighton Xiles

MATCH REPORT – SCC versus XILES CC – 7thMay 2017

XCC win by 10 overs
285 to 122

This home match for the SCC was interestingly played in Brighton. Patcham to be exact. We had hoped to play at St.James Montefiore but this was not to be. We may discount that pitch for future fixtures. But The Xiles CC kindly agreed to do a tea for us and we were soon all struggling to park at Patcham cricket pitch. There was then a small dilemma of having to unscrew the padlock from the door of the pavilion but we were soon in and the day stretched out before us like a heavy sea – much the same in shape as the pitch!

PAWS for applause

Dacha (Dan Woodhouse) was keen and eager to skipper us through this one and in his capable hands we were fielding first. Their opening pair of Scolze(?) and Hannant were not easy to shift. We kept their run rate as low as we could by opening with some zip from Ruboneoff  (Will Roberts) and Yuri’s lugubrious lobbing. Not easy and not always pleasant as they plugged away a refused to get out. Finally Yuri slid a long one up the leg of Hanant and took out the stump to boot. But all that did was release a the Hooper we know as Hooperoff. 

Stumped by Brandonovski

Bowling rotated to bring in Hodderoff and Chipmonkski. The run rate was beginning to rise, less due to the bowling but more the eyes snapping in as the overs progressed. But on we battled. Hodderoff exchanged in the bowling and Daggers comes in from the North end. So nice to see his flicky little wristy action. This proves enough and a smashing ball zips past a Scolze who was strolling down to smack it. Brandonovski wasn’t going to have that and with both hands clasped on the ball, he clatters the stumps down. Lovely. 

But that was the last wicket to fall. Bailey was walking out to bat and even swinging as he did so. Sadly this continued through his innings. He scored 118 and Hooper retired injured with 52 to bring on Hatrey who also added 31. We chucked all manner of things at them, even Skipper Dacha, who has a broken arm still in recovery. But it was that Bailey that did the damage. Psychology is a powerful mistress, I feel chins were heavier. At drinks it looked alright, at tea it looked ridiculous.

Patcham Cricket Pitch

Tea completed, we needed to set up a steady ship and bat liked we meant to draw. An option left open for us! Our openers were to the field, Vlad (Charlie Richards) and Ruboneoff (Will Roberts). This opening partnership were both surprising, different but delightfully ‘in’. Vlad was well off-book and knew his orders well. Dorothy and tactical runs were his bread and butter. Ruboneoff had us all frightened at first as her clattered shots about and ran with astonishing vigour, was he playing too aggressively? Not really, he worked hard at it and stayed in! Great stuff. Indeed our openers got through over 60 balls before Tulley forced a catch from Ruboneoff, exiting with 20 runs. The catch was actually not an easy over head two hander at a close mid-wicket.

On comes Dagleyev (Neil Dagley). He and Vlad set up shop. A partnership of 7 overs. Dagleyev is always a splendid watch and was keen to push the score up safely. He had his eye settling in on this raggedy wicket and with 20 to his name, slapped away a beefy stroke to the deep off. But Deep point man, JD (Hartley) collected it and Dagleyev was off and Brandonovski on.

Kathick was bowling well enough and he finally got our man, Vlad caught behind for 35. But great stability from our man from the steps and there for the first 21 overs is the kind of solidity we need to foster – not fester! Simon Woods, our new blood and his first game, then joined us. He had some very nice strokes on display but suddenly Brandonovski was walking home. A bouncier delivery from Kathick and straight onto his finger. It pitched up and was caught. Brando home for 5.

Hodderoff pads up

Owenoff was valiantly in and out, aureum anatis. Woods out next ball with a balletic LBW for 5. Yes comrades, the SCC disease was upon us! Hodderoff was there and the new replacement was Sewelski. Cometh the hour, cometh the birthday boy. His ninety three years barely showing as he opened up with two runs and all this despite a variety of bodily injuries. A few balls in and a sweeping hook brought a boundary 4 at fine leg for the celebrating, Sewelski. Birthday congrats! However just before that, Hodderoff hand his stumps removed by Karthick for 4. Then in a snap Sewelski was LBW for a very useful 10 runs.

Skipper Dacha (Dan Woodhouse) and Chipmonkski were now holding fort. But not for too long either. Dacha worried away a nice 13 but was then bowled by Matt and so the brothers, Yuir and Chip were there together – briefly. Not known for his skills with the bat, a little nick scored him a single before running for a second he was run-out off Matt.

There is no pretending it was close. We were whooped. Bailey was a very good bat and despite a reasonable bowling field, we couldn’t get to his stumps. We need to make sure that our bowling line-up ‘thinks’ some wickets – take a breath before running. We also suffered our frequent batting collapse. But in the old days, it wasn’t frequent, it was usual. So that’s good! Thank you Skipper, Dacha, all comrades and all PAWS – and thank you Xiles CC

Do Svidaniya!

 

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MATCH REPORT – XCC v SCC – Sunday 17th July 2016

scc_after_XCC2016
scc_after_XCC2016

Xiles CC WIN scoring 201 for 9
SCC all out for 188 off 38.3

SCC v Brighton Xiles CC on Sun 17 Jul 16

Captain’s Match Report written by Comrade Valdimir Boringski.

Having had the honour of captaining the comrades in the very exciting game with nail-biting finish last year at St James’s Montefiore, I was delighted to be asked to take up the post again this year.  Last year’s 40-40 match saw the Xiles all out for 160 runs in their 35th over after a brilliant fielding and bowling effort by the comrades.  The communists edged to victory scoring 161 for 9 off 39.2 overs i.e. with only 4 balls to spare!  Comrade Boringski was out for only 5 and Comrade Lt. General Markov Cobramavitch scored a steely 22 runs in an epic innings lasting 16 hours and 42 minutes.  Comrade Brandonovski scored a solid 16, and Comrade Daglyev steered the communists to victory in a fine 57 not out innings, with the inebriated Comrade Hatter holding up the final wicket and even lofting a lofted off drive for 4 into the bargain.

This year the comrades met at the bottom of the escalator at King’s Cross St Pancras train station at 10.30am on Sunday morning, avoiding the capitalists as best they could, to catch the train down to Hassocks.  We welcomed 2 new comrades into our ranks – Harry Rose (aka Comrade Rosinski), nephew of Comrade Analitch, and Will Roberts (aka Comrade Robertski), friend of Comrade Rosinski.  In preparation for last year’s game I set about a week of strategic and tactical planning in conjunction with a juice only diet, cold showers, and even a brief trip to Red Square to attend a Marxist Rally.  This year sadly I did not have the opportunity, so I spent the train journey down planning tactics, batting, fielding and bowling positions.  On arrival at Hassocks train station the resourceful Comrade Dacha attempted to order some taxis to take us to our new location this year – Clayton Cricket Field on Underhill Lane, near Hobbiton, with artificial playing strip.  Sadly none of the taxi companies were able to pick up the comrades so the valiant Sewelski and Daglyev provided a shuttle service to the grounds.  We arrived late and prepared speedily to ready ourselves.  Comrade Boringski took the toss with opposition captain David Hannant.  We won the toss and I decided to put the communists into field first.  The SCC fielded extremely well, and although we did not see any early wickets, we managed to keep the run rate down to 4 per over for the first spell.  Comrade Dacha opened the bowling in an impressively socialist 5 over spell from the Bywater End, with the good Comrade Hodderov charging in from the Bree End.  Debutant Comrade Robertski and veteran Comrade Daglyev then took over for 5 overs each.  Comrade Daglyev took a fine 5 wickets during his spells today, and Comrade Robertski took 2 excellent wickets, including seeing off Comrade Hooperov lbw for 28 runs.  Comrade Hooperov batted well, but should have known better than to play for the Xiles capitalists; he is often seen among our ranks, but today was in the opposition team.  Next to bowl were Comrade Malkovitch and other debutant Comrade Rosinski.  Comrade Malkovitch had a good 4 over spell, but did not quite manage to get that elusive wicket.  Comrade Rosinski bowled 2 overs with some very colourful deliveries, almost Cobra-esque in style; this had the effect of unsettling the batsman and inducing Comrade Hooperov to run out his captain David Hannant in the confusion; perhaps Comrade Hooperov’s true roots were beginning to show as the shame of his political treason was weighing heavily on him.  Comrade Sewelski then bowled 2 overs from the Bree end in one of the best spells of bowling in his career, with sighs from the communists as his balls narrowly missed the oppo’s striking machine.  Our 4 strike bowlers then returned to finish off the remaining 12 overs, with 3 overs each.  Comrade Hodderov took the wicket of David Bailey in this last spell, who was perhaps focusing too much on his latest photographic assignment.  There were 3 outstanding catches taken in the field today; 2 by the debutant Comrade Rosinski at deep cow corner, and 1 by Comrade Dacha at deep mid off; a most pleasing sight for the captain.  Also thanks to the mighty Pete Brandon (aka Comrade Brandonovski) for returning to keep wicket after last year’s fine wicket keeping performance.   Mention as always to Comrade Analitch for his extremely energetic and enthusiastic fielding performance, Comrade Hodderov for fine fielding as ever including the Captain’s stop of the day, and Comrade Daglyev for razor sharp reactions.  The Xiles scored 201 runs in total for 9 wickets.

After tea the communists took up the batting challenge, with a run rate of just over 5 runs per over to win; victory was in sight, but they would have to work hard for it.  It was a field which did not yield runs easily; the outfield was slow and it often required lofted shots to reach the boundary.  Comrades Vlad Borinski and Analitch opened the batting with a fine partnership of 81 runs.  Comrade Boringski tallied up 40 runs before running himself out – risks were necessary if we were to hope for victory.  Comrade Analitch scored a lifetime best of 33 runs in a very fine performance with some glorious strokes of the bat.  The run rate started off slowly at 3.5 runs per over, but as we realised we needed to dig deep, we edged it up to 4 and then almost 5 an over so as not to leave too high a hill to climb for our comrades in reserve.  Dacha then came in to notch up a valiant 14 runs.  Comrade Daglyev ,the people’s hero, came in shortly after to score a very fine 66 runs, including a six which nearly came crashing into the scorer’s bench where the communists were huddled; and Comrade Malkovitch tallied a solid 15.  After this the communists struggled slightly with Comrades Hodderov, Sewelski and even the mighty Brandonovski being felled by the wiles of the opposition bowling.  Next debutant Comrade Rosinski came.  We needed 15 runs to win with 3 overs to spare, so the game could go either way in the last few overs – it looked like it would be another exciting finish on the cards!  However, the brave communists could not quite overcome the ingenuity of the capitalist offensive; Comrade Rosinski remained not out for 1 fine run, but Comrades Owenski and Robertski fell, leaving the comrades all out for 188 off 38.3 overs, just 14 runs short of victory.

After the game the comrades repaired to The Hassocks pub for some well-earned refreshment (photos attached), before catching the late train back to London.

In spite of our loss today, I was extremely pleased with our performance.  For the last 2 years of our fixture against the Brighton Xiles, we have managed to claw an uncanny win from the jaws of a loss.  This year we came very close, but didn’t quite manage it in the final analysis.  However, sportsmanship is the middle name of the SCC, and we must let our friends the Xiles win from time to time, even if they are decadent capitalists.  The SCC is the only team I know who can lose a game and yet still win.  All hail the mighty comrades.  You can all be well pleased with your performances today – your captain is very proud of you.  Semper sodales, fors et victores!

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Daggers

MATCH REPORT – SCC v BXCC Sunday 19th July 2015

Daggers
Daggers

SCC Win 4 ball remaining scoring  161 for 9 off 39.2 overs
BXCC 160 of 40 overs

A GLORIOUS VICTORY!

Match Report written by Comrade Valdimir Boringski.

I was greatly honoured to receive the request from our honoured leader Comrade Commissar Tsar Yuri Pedez to captain the SCC against our old rivals the Brighton Exiles.  In preparation for this I set about a week of strategic and tactical planning in conjunction with a juice only diet, cold showers, and even a brief trip to Red Square to attend a Marxist Rally.  I was delighted to have Comrade Cobramavitch as Vice Captain, who provided invaluable support and advice at critical moments before and during the game – my sincere thanks to him and his well-deserved Milk Tray.  As for the comrades, fresh in our memories still was our epic and extraordinary victory against the Brighton Exiles last year.  We had amassed a healthy batting score in the first innings, but the Exiles looked set to overtake us and secure victory.  However, in a jaw dropping finish, as if by some divine intervention, the Exiles could not find the boundaries and even Comrade Vlad took 3 wickets in the his last 2 overs in spite of calamitous bowling.  As the last ball trickled beneath the batsman’s bat and found the stumps, the Exiles walked off the pitch in absolute silence, in total dumbfounded stupor as to how they could have lost what seemed like an unlosable match.  Even the birds stopped singing for a while.  A car arrived shortly after to take opposition captain Dave Hooper straight to anger management classes.  The perfect end to a perfect day was to have the privilege to ride back to London in Comrade General Cobramavitch’s Mercedes V8 Slinkmobile.

Equipment of war Analitch
Equipment of war Analitch

Memories aside, this year I met with Vice Captain Comrade Cobramavitch and Comrade Analitch at The Hammersmith Appollo of the People’s Rebublic shortly after 10.30am and we cruised down together in the aforementioned Mercedes V8 Slinkmobile to St James’s Montefiore near Brighton.  The auspices looked good.  Not a mention of gas or electricity bills from Comrade Vlad on the journey down, although the fruit and spice of conversation almost caused Comrade General to veer off the road; but not quite!  On arriving at the ground, the sun was shining and the day looked well set for a good game.  Captain Vlad took to the pitch with Captain Hooperov for the toss.  Vlad won the toss and elected to field first, and opt for a 40-40 game (40 overs each way).  All was going according to his plan.  He realised that the SCC bowling and fielding side was not as strong as it could be; par contre he saw that there was a very strong batting side including 2 secret weapons.  As a result of this his strategy involved lulling the opposition into a false sense of security by allowing them to bat first and score conservatively, not realising that we had a might of secret communist power in our batting ranks that would allow us to steam to victory.  Comrade Dacha’s Lenin and Marx coins were on the changing room windowsill to further strengthen this plan.

As the comrades took to the field to start the fielding offensive, I was anticipating damage limitation from our brave, but not so strong bowling / fielding side.  I was utterly mistaken.  What followed was 40 overs of the finest fielding I have ever seen by the SCC, and outstanding bowling in addition.  I was truly humbled.  Comrade Hodderov took the first 6 overs from the People’s Republic End and gave a very fine performance.  Simultaneously Comrade Chipmunski bowled 8 overs from the People’s Pavilion End and, although a little apprehensive of his bowling, bowled the 8 best overs of his life; the comrades were ‘oohing and aahhing’ at his deliveries which went past the bat, and a snick catch to first slip was sadly not taken as the first slip was still on a train to from London to Brighton nursing a hangover.  Comrade Dacha then bowled 6 overs from the People’s Republic End in another very fine performance.  The first wicket fell at his hands after a patient wait by the SCC – a glorious bowling, and P. Stead was off back to the pavilion.  2 balls later on the very first ball of Comrade Robski’s 2 over spell from the People’s Pavilion End, was the ‘Captain’s ball of the match’ – in came Robski, very reluctant to be asked to bowl, but bravely stepping up to the challenge.  A moderate paced ball slightly to off side, placed and pitched with strategic brilliance to entice opposition captain Comrade Hooperov aka ‘The Bull’.  The Bull, wily as he is, fell for this ploy, and cut the ball straight to Comrade Analitch at point who leapt up in the air and grabbed the ball out of the air to take an outstanding catch.  The slow motion replay of this victorious wicket will stay with me to my communist deathbed.  2 opponents felled in 3 balls, the seeds of the SCC victory had just been sewn.  Bowler number 4, Comrade Soldya then bowled 6 overs from the People’s Pavilion End in a very good spell in spite of the copious amounts of alcohol still in his system (Russian vodka one would hope) – the first 2 of these overs were so tricky that the batsmen struggled to leave their creases.  Bowler number 5 from the People’s Republic End was Comrade Daglyev, always a welcome addition to the SCC side.  In his 6 overs he made the opposition very uncomfortable and ravaged through them like a warm knife through butter.  7 spectacular wickets – David Bailey lbw, Kartinck lbw, Harvindor bowled; Pete Tulley, Steve, Adam, Pete Tulley innings 2 were all caught – comrade Cobra took one at first slip, Comrade Dacha took another 2 and one taken by an unknown comrade – well done!  Comrade Hodderov took a wicket in his last over, a brilliant catch taken by Robski at third man.  Such was the strength and vigour of the SCC bowling and fielding side that the Brighton Exiles did not even last the full 40 overs; they trailed off to the pavilion, tails between their legs, all out for 160 during the 35th over.  A mention to Comrade Brandonovsi, the mighty Pete Brandon, on an excellent wicket keeping performance.  Also to Comrade Analitch for litheness in the field, both for the SCC and for the Exiles, and his positive mental attitude during the game, even after his lbw dismissal in the next innings.

CoBOOMovich
CoBOOMovich

After a delicious tea, provided by Comrade Chipmunski and his wife, the SCC comrades set to batting.  Comrade Vlad, assisted by advice from Comrade Cobramavitch, changed the batting assault plan to adjust to the circumstances.  We needed 161 runs to win off 40 overs, a modest rate of 4 runs per over.  Since we had a strong batting side, victory was in sight and indeed seemed like an easy cruise.  Not wishing to humiliate the opposition by grinding their dirty capitalist faces into the good communist mud, he put comrade Daglyev, secret weapon number 1, from batting position number 3 down to 8, so as to provide communist strength in reserve in case of need; other batting positions were adjusted so as to make for an interesting and good spirited game.  Comrade Captain asked the communist colleagues if any of them particularly wanted or did not want to bat.  Comrades Brandonovski and Chipmunski spoke forth and so Vlad, not given to autocracy or dictatorship, moved them up the order to 3 and 5 respectively from their original positions of 10 and 11. He was therefore surprised when each of them in turn choked on their sandwiches when he communicated this to them during the tea break.

Behold Brandonovski
Behold Brandonovski

Tea over and Comrade Lt. General Markov Cobramavitch opened the batting with Comrade Vladimir Boringski.  Comrade Cobramavitch offered a performance of true communist grit, scoring a solid 22 runs in an epic innings lasting 16 hours and 42 minutes.  Comrade Vlad hit a nice 4 run boundary, Comrade Analitch’s powerful bat guiding the ball easily through midwicket.  However, the strain of captaincy possibly taking its toll on him, he was dismissed lbw by opposition bowler Duleep for 5 runs.  A more cynical communist might have muttered that the ball was going at least a foot down leg side and that comrade umpire Chipmunski could be seen to visibly smile at the decision, patting his hand on the crisp 100 rouble note in his pocket, handed to him surreptitiously by the bowler the previous ball.  However, Comrade Vlad knew better than that, and retired to the pavilion without questioning his communist comrade, with the bruise on his left rib cage from an earlier ball which had bounced up menacingly.  Comrade Brandonovski, the mighty Pete Brandon, then strode confidently to the crease, as is his custom, and scored a valiant 16 runs; well done comrade!  Comrade Captain’s secret weapon number 2 then strode out to the crease – Jon Fowler aka ‘Ivan the Terrible’.  Vlad was now umpiring and issued himself a wry smile as the debutant was about to unfold his wrath on the quite frankly disgusting capitalists.  However, the tight opposition bowling, in combination with unpredictable and nasty bouncing of the ball was too much, and Comrade Ivan was unlucky to find a ball bounce up sharply and come off his bat on to the stumps.  Bad Luck, Ivan, but we hope you will come back to join us another time.

Must be our innings
Must be our innings

The opposition were now beginning to sense that what had initially seemed would be an easy SCC victory, now looked increasingly like it might be an Exiles victory.  Captain Vladimir, now umpiring, had a temporary moment of despair, and realised all his strategies and plans might come to nothing, and his sportsmanlike communist aims might have been too conservative.  His head was in his hands.  However, Comrade Brandonovski rallied to him and gave him some good solid Yorkshire advice that the decisions made had been founded on firm principles.  Comrade Vlad took to his position again with renewed hope.  Chipmunkski was next to bat; a good innings, but he fell to the bowling of Harvindor.  Comrade Analitch was next in.  The Comrade Captain umpire was pleased to see that Analitch’s batting performance had improved in bounds and strides since the beginning of the season, and now looked very confident with solid strokes.  The Captain was therefore disappointed to have to give him out lbw to Bailey’s difficult bowling.  Comrade Robski was next in, but fell victim to the bowling of Harvindor.

Soldya livin it
Soldya livin it

Many runs still left to get, very few overs left to get them in.  We were in need of a miracle.  One man was fit for the job, and in he came – secret weapon number 1, Comrade ‘Dynamite’ Daglyev, the people’s hero.  Even so, the Comrade Captain thought it might be too late, even for the people’s hero to change the fortune of the game; the hill left to climb was very steep, and there was little time left.  Comrades Dacha and Hodderov sought to aid him as best they could in these difficult circumstances, swiping at the ball to try and claw back the desperately needed runs.  However, they Exiles bowling was too tight and strong and they both fell.  Worthy of note was Hodderov’s first ball which he glanced beautifully down to the fine leg boundary for 4 runs.  Final batsman and our last hope then came to the crease, weaving from side to side due to the high percentage of alcohol still in his blood stream – Comrade ‘Mad Hatter’ Soldya.  His aim – TO STAY IN!!!!  He must hold up the other end while Daglyev sets about his task.  The normally joking and man of comedic brilliance showed none of this jocularity, striding helmeted to the crease with steely reserve.  The target seemed unreachable and yet not impossible.  Things seemed to be going to The Exiles’ way.  Daglyev, although an outstanding batsman, was not quite in flow and there seemed to be something blocking; the run rate needed getting ever higher each over.  As a last resort, the Comrade Captain umpire looked up to the heavens and prayed to his God to intervene.  As if in answer, there came a turning point in which the fortunes of the SCC suddenly lifted.  Daglyev wielded the bat with elegance and flair, stroking shots to the boundary with graceful ease, while still managing to hold the strike.  Even Comrade Soldya, when unexpectedly finding himself 3 balls to face took on the challenge.  His aim was just to say in.

Order of Lenin
Order of Lenin

However, Comrade Captain from leg umpire could not help but feel that the SCC communist ethic does not rely solely on defensiveness.  He shouted in very un-umpire fashion “Come on Soldya, show them what you are made of!”  As if in response the comrade, tasked only to block, smashed the ball over the bowler’s head to the boundary for 4 runs.  Superb!  The hopes of the SCC were raised.  The flow continued, Daglyev steered us to victory with skilful shots and with only 4 balls to spare; Daglyev 63 not out.  Final Score 161 for 9 off 39.2 overs.  Once again, Comrade Hooperov fuming at defeat and a sense of being robbed, and a car on its way to take him to anger management classes!  Comrade Vlad would therefore like to request that Comrade Daglyev receive the Order of Lenin for his brilliant contribution to the game and also for his allegiance to the SCC over the last year.  Also he would like to request the Order of Marx for the team as a whole for their outstanding effort and performance.

Well done comrades and all hail the SCC.  It was an honour to captain you for the day!

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