Tag: Cobramovich

AGM minutes, Wednesday 24th January 2014

Half an AGM
Half an AGM


For those 91% of you who thankfully didn’t show up, may I present to you our most scintillating minutes!

AGM held at The Union Club

Those present at 19:00 and then followed some five minutes later, formed the quorum required and were: comrades Yuri, Ilyeva, Yankheroff, Soldya, Jontin and Cobramovitch.

. Present commissar jobs shall remain as they were. Special note made that the role of comrade commissar Fixtures is created for day matches.
. Those in those posts are unchanged and comrade commissar Yankheroff is in charge of day fixtures. Comrade commissar quartermaster Brandonovski is given special duties for fixtures 20-20.
. It was decided there shall be no voting of next year for the positions of Premier and Treasurer.

Treasurer Ilyeva
. Bank account explained and accepted to the last degree.
. £319 to go to Parkinson’s charity.
. Over £1,500 went to the David Adams Leukaemia appeal fund at The Royal Marsden Hospital.
. Subs will remain at £40 for 18 and overs and £20 for youth.
. Half of all subs go to charity.
. The regents park 20-20 tournament will cost £65 to play.
. Certain games will be more if costs are higher but sufficient notice will be given. Otherwise the general match fee will be £10.

quartermaster Brandonovski
. Absent skiing but Cobramovich wished to send him gratitude for a great job last season, we all agreed.
. This seemed like the relevant moment for Jontin to tell us he has lost two stone. He will need a new shirt.
. New styled caps are available from serious cricket.
.Ilyeva will be purchasing this season’s balls.
. There was a brief debate as to whether Cobramovich’s request that Jontin wear a muzzle whilst playing? This was voted down as it was considered to reduce by too much, the level of noise on the pitch, we wish to up, not down.

cultural attaché Cobramovich
. The instructional video of the official greeting of one SCC comrade to another which was filmed diligently at last years cocktails soirée is to be uploaded by Yuri as soon as possible.
. An email of field positions is to be emailed out to all comrades.
. This then forms part of our SOCIAL QUIZ night on March 21st 2014. This was discussed twice on the night but the prescient points are put down here:
. This night is both social and recruitment with a quiz thrown in!
. Each comrade must try to bring at least one new recruit.
. Soldya to arrange quiz including: field positions, scoring and umpiring.
. Cobramovich is looking into a location for the event.
. If this is too much for one event, we shall have the social first and then followed by the quiz another night.

captains’ reports
Cobramovich: last year was very happy about the atmosphere. very good. But wants to make sure we have “stick ability”. Practice on catching is essential. Regents park for catching practice and maybe a field practice session. David Hooper and Stew Barnes were great additions.

in abstentia, Marx wants us to have a composed anthem to sing. We are all for a song but some we’re wondering if we could take melody from an already existing Russian tune?
We should develop a vocal field-checking chant which we must abide by in the field. Keep that pressure up.
He also wanted to ask if it was time for a tour? This was covered more in Jontin’s report although I feel in hindsight, less SCC orientated.

Jontin enjoyed his half match last season and looks forward to more captaining this season. He warns though, of his firm style and strict discipline. So comrades, focus on plying him with compliments and ale and I sense a softer Odobenus Rosmarus will appear! His quote was “I like to win.” – Semper Sodales, fors et Victores, comrade!

Yuri, myself, was delighted with last season though felt a few holes could have been added to in fixtures. This coming season looks good.
I also encouraged a lot more field comedy and barracking!

Comrade commissar Yankheroff and Soldya also wished to captain a 20-20 this season with some strong vice presence and Ilyeva fancied some vice captain work himself.

This is a breakdown of forthcoming fixtures for the season. As it stands now it is splendid and all agreed. Compliments were given to both Brandonovski and Yankheroff for excellent planning. Anyhow, here is the schedule so far.

. Sunday 4th May… SCC v LMSCC at Chiswick (SCC home)
. Saturday 17th May… PSCC v SCC at Penn Street
. Wednesday 21st May… David Adams’ Tournament at Roehampton
. Friday 23rd May… Friendly4 20-20 #1 Reg’ Park
. Saturday 24th May… BWCC v SCC at Badlesmere
. Friday 6th June… Friendly4 20-20 #2 Reg’ Park
. Saturday 7th June… KCCC 2nd XI v SCC at Keble College, Oxford PENCIL
. Saturday 21st June… SCC v VCC at Culford (SCC home)
. Sunday 6th July… SRCC v SCC at Stoke Row
. Friday 11th July… Friendly4 20-20 #3 Reg’ Park
. Saturday 19th July… SCC v MOFCC at ?
. Friday 25th July… SCC v BOLCC 20-20 Reg’ Park
. Sunday 3rd August… XCC v SCC at Xiles Brighton
. Friday 8th August… LCC v SCC at Lindfield. Moved since AGM
. Sunday 31st August… CBCC v SCC at Chesham Bois
. 13/14 September… Fixture?


Consoling Dan
Consoling Dan

Any other business
Somewhat aside from the AGM, Soldya was called briefly away in chase of a young lady. Whilst we couldn’t watch the interaction, it was bold and brave. Soldya was informed he was “…batting above his average.” by the nimble prey and she was off before he could mention he was a bowler. Comrade, we salute you.

In regards to a tour; there was a general interest in a tour if the usual suspects were all going. But where was the question most asked. Also to this, was the question, organised by whom?

Jontin has a tour and scheme which is up his sleeve but as it would not be an SCC tour, we cannot mention it in the minutes. Please consult with him directly on this 2015 foreign adventure! He is sure to fill you in.

Business closed at 21:18

Do Svidaniya

Match Report : SCC v XilesCC Sunday 4th August 2013

40 overs, 8 overs/bowler, timed game.
XilesCC win by 117 runs with 9 balls to go.
Xiles 257 for 3 – SCC 140 for 9

Captains in the sun
Captains in the sun

The run down to my home county of Sussex to play cricket, is for me one of the finest things I could do with a morning. Vladimir Boringski kept me company and between us we plotted the overthrow of the imperialist Brighton Xiles XI and their devilish plan for the conquest of North Brighton, or London as we call it.

The sun was with us and baked the tin of my new Ford S-Max like a Sherman tank in the desert of Africa. This was the indeed the first day of a tour of duty in Sussex, Brighton Xiles and then on to Lindfield. We felt like the devilish rats of the 8th army – soiled, dirty, hot and sweaty and ready for some blood.

St James’ and Montefiore ground is between Hassocks and Ditchling and sits amiably below the South Downs. Quite superb. The pavilion is a great palace of slatted timber that welcomes and seduces the teams into a suitably competitive spirit and when Cobramovich and the Xiles’ Hooper walked back from a swift toss on the pitch, we were all set to play.

We took to the field first. A great team with some superb additions to help us out and both of whom I must credit thoroughly for their help: Geoff and Neal Freeman, aka The Freemanoffs. Having been at school with Neal and also having worked with Geoff (barely a few years ago!) I knew the dynasty and of their close family connection to Tich Freeman. Great things are due, thank you comrades.

Opening the bowling, The Richardson Brothers: Myself (Yuri) and Chimpmunkski. Xiles’ Captain David Hooper and ‘Will’ facing. Quite a good and relaxed opening was had and they were happy clattering balls away though not rapidly at first. But at 51 I got Capt’ Hooper LBW and with not an ounce of disappointment or sadness he strolled from the pitch, full of joy having scored a very admirable 31.

Not a lot developed for a while but when Chipmunkski and I finished our spells, he was at 28 off 7 with a maiden to boot and I at 34 with my wicket – not awful. then streaking into the sun and spitting 33 caliber balls turned our replacements Sewelski and Vlad the Impaler, Boringski. We must credit the former with a sterling performance and improvement. With every passing ball and over his line and length improved and we began to see the spin from his youth. Facing him our finest Vlad Boringski, drilling in great style.

However, the runs were building as David M had replaced the Hooper man, and it wasn’t until the 30th over and a score of 205 that Will was stumped for 58 off our most excellent guest, Geoff Freemanoff. The heat of the day was obviously not helping us and David M got up to 89 before an LBW from God Knows Who. 28 and 23 from Tom and Luke C. Neal Freemanoff gave a splendid rendition of an over and Brandonovski obliged us with a couple and hopefully more to come. But 40 0vers were up and 257 was scored for 3.

St James Montefiore Ground
St James Montefiore Ground

PAWS stands for Partners, Wives and Singles. Deal with it. Without them we would all be so much less of a team, so much less as individuals and bereft of certain key aspects of the game. One of which would have been tea. Brandonovski and Ilyeva had brilliantly planned the arrival of the nosh and with the help of the PAWS it was laid out like the feast of the ancients (I have no idea what I am writing about). We fell upon it and much like the Demolition of Rasputeles’ castle of Aluminium Foil, we were fed and ready for our innings (Please help me).

Cobramovich and Robski walked out into the late afternoon sun. Each eager and astute. A 35 minute partnership followed until Robski was caught off Tulley for 17. Three boundary 4s though and some lovely dotting. Cobramovich welcomed cmr. cms. Treasurer Ilyeva in until he was bowled Bradmore for 1. But his body has been clattered this season and we know he will be fighting fit for 2014.

Brandonovski now touched gloves with Cobramovich and did some fine Dorothy work until being taken by Tulley again. But any dotting over ten is worth praise. Vladimir Boringski is now in bat. Gosh, what a figure he cuts out there. I feel an aching sense of pride to see such a sterling posture and presence in the field. Cobramovich was obviously similarly impressed as he was shortly after caught off Bradmore after having provided the SCC with an admirable 21.

Then we gave Vlad some changing scenery at the other end for a while, Nealoff was there but a brief while – but thank you! Then Sewelski. Special note here I think as he banged away two fours before being taken Hales for 8. Then Chipmunkski and myself for 2 and 11 respectively and then to Geoff Freemanoff. Another fine figure occupying the crease and so splendidly so. Something in his pace and capability brought the Xiles into a sticky clamor of fear and silence. 15 runs scored and a couple of boundary fours – Thank you Geoff! Appreciated.

But all good things come to an end and so did we, 140 scored. This fixture and pitch is without doubt a keeper. Well done all around comrades, thank you to our captain Cobramovich and congratulations to the Brighton Xiles under David Hooper’s direction. We shall be back at St James’ Montefiore next year for sure.

Semper Sodales, fors et Victores!

SCC v Xiles XCC innings 2013
SCC v Xiles XCC innings 2013

SCC v Xiles SCC innings 2013
SCC v Xiles SCC innings 2013

Match Report: Badlesmere XI CC v SCC Saturday 1st June 2013

40 over game, retire at 100 n/o
Badlesmere XI win by 99 runs; 253 for 3
SCC 154 all out

Belmont House Cricket Ground
Belmont House Cricket Ground

Comrade Commissar Ileyva Lunchourov looked disconsolately from the rain-splattered window of his Zil limousine as it passed Belmont House. These sickening capitalists and their decadent displays of faded, historic, exploitative wealth! This accurse-sed exile!! How he longed once again for the honest grit of the Donbass coalfield and the long-lost, brotherly self-respect afforded him by the heroic miners of the glorious cause.

In the following convoy of black cars, Altmananov’s eyes also narrowed with politico-philosophical distrust as he passed the fascists’ mansion, then Brandonovski’s, and so on, until all 11 of the Soviet cavalcade had traversed the centre of the former great rural estate, on the last lap to the battlefield. Only Jontin, himself rescued by the Red forces from his defiantly aristocratic parents, as a mere toddler during the Great Uprising, seemed to betray a furtive glimpse of distant longing in his dark eyes, as he fleetingly surveyed the stone monolith. His balding, burly State driver surely noticed, but as always remained silent…

An hour later, Supreme Leader ‘Tzar’ (not in the pre-1917 sense you understand, but perhaps we remain essentially a peasant people, at once ever seeking, loving and fearing a Supreme Leader?) Yuri Pedeez, having inserted the Kentish opposition, the Collective were staring into a cricketing abyss: An unreconstructed Badlesmere Occasionals opening batsman – De Moubray, surely an unapologetic exploiter of the masses – was nearing his half-century, clubbing the hissing Cobramovich to the leg-side boundary at will. Hirstheryankov, Samovar, Sewellski and new convert Mullertov Cocktail also all battled hard with their crimson balls to remove this Western ogre; but none could – and the vile Enemy Of The People only retreated once he had passed his debut 100.

I would rather pick my ear than score any more!

In fact, despite some excellent fielding on the big stately home pitch, including Ileyva and Altmananov both bravely taking nasty knocks for the team, we were nevertheless only able to dispatch 3 other capitalists to the Gulag. The highlight for this humble Pravda propagandist being Cosmonaut Sewellski’s wicket: The Blakes 7 oligarch’s rangy bowling quickly eliciting a fine catch at short extra cover from (the clearly surprised) Yuri.

At least we remained cosy in the drizzle-threatening gloom, thanks – courtesy Quartermaster Brandonovski – to our freshly delivered new club sweaters, emanating pungent wafts of Ural Mountain sheep wool. The aroma drifted dreamily over the North Downs and soulfully compounded our deep desire for a return to the Motherland. Meanwhile, by tea a brutal target of 253 had been set us Russians by the Imperialists.

Orthodox blessings then upon the strawberry meringues served, such a guilty bourgeois pleasure for this simple son of the black Ukrainian soil. I justified my corrupted treachery by observing that at least they were partly Red in colour.

I am that bored
I am that bored

With a run-rate in excess of 6 an over required for victory, could perhaps our openers, the in-form Arctic Monster of frozen Arkangel, Jontin – fresh from his Collective record-topping individual score of 77 at Penn Street – and big-hitting ‘keeper Robski, build a platform quickly enough to topple the decadents? Nyet! Robski, then Sewellski, both fell to the ghastly Shirley. Russians, felled for year zeros by a man with a woman’s name. Readers, reflect for a moment on the shame in zat zentence…

Mullertov entered, rather curiously swishing his hips while holding his bat parallel with both hands, possibly in a deranged effort to attract ‘Shirley’ with a courtship dance. Or was it a warm up? Western corruption after all is insidious, and we must always be on our guard against it.

Dear Mum, can I come home now?
Dear Mum, can I come home now?

Spaseba though, our number 4 soon got down to honest work, over a full 97 minutes crafting a Caspian Sea-size 3rd wicket partnership of 105 with Jontin, before finally falling on his sickle in the 24th over for a fine 41. Jontin lasted another half-hour, ratcheting up the score to a near respectable 128-5, at which point he was roostered by Cockerel. (Party-approved word play at an idiotic enemy’s expense, meerkats.) 9 fours, on a tricky wicket and sticky outfield, went towards Jontin’s heroic 72: Another consecutive huge score for the Walrus of the Tundra! Surely the Order of Lenin awaits him at the Union Club in November.

From the remaining batsmen only Samovar, his yogic mysticism tolerated by our gloriously godless regime, could reach double figures; but, facing tidy Badlesmere bowling throughout, it was still encouraging for the future to see The Collective fall just one ball short of batting out the entire allocated 40 overs, the ever-improving Lunchourov cruelly being given LBW on the 5th ball of the final over.

So, 154 all out – a defeat by 99 runs, and surely we had the last grim laugh: The depraved Westerners could not manage to beat us by a hundred. A moral victory for Communist Cricket, Comrades!

Many thanks to all of you comrades and all at Badlesmere. Thank you cmr cms Cobramovich for a startling, incisive, accurate and spine tingling match report, too! – Yuri



Badlesmere v SCC june 2013 - us
Badlesmere v SCC june 2013 – us