Tag: Neil Dagley

MATCH REPORT: Brighton Xiles CC v SCC 14th September 2014

SCC won by 35 runs in a 35 over match
SCC scoring 207 for 5
BXCC scoring 172 (all out for 8)


Words I find have left me and I am devoid of exemplary gratitude and praise as there is none sufficient to bestow the gratitude the polite bureau wishes to bestow upon this team! To a comrade, I, Yuri, salute you and send my heartiest back-pats. In short, I love you!

This report fresh in from skipper of the day, comrade commissar captain Cobramovich:

Glove up
East Park


Soho Cricket Collective (207-4) beat Brighton Xiles (172 all out) in 35-over match.

East Brighton Park, Sunday 14th September 2014: Soho won the toss and batted first….5 hours later, as Xiles’ last wicket fell to Vlad The Impaler’s left-leaning leg-spin, an eerie, stunned silence from the shell-shocked South Coasters greeted the mighty Communists’ 3rd victory of the season!

Herewith follows a Pravda-tabloid sketch of how – in batting order – each of the 9 Heroes of Lenin contributed to this cataclysmic result, that surely sent Brighton bookies scampering up the South Downs. in embarrassed retreat..



Snivelling. cowardly, vodka-addled, this washed-up old trooper still somehow manages to maintain an acceptable front to the masses. Surely destined for the salt mines soon however. Took 55 balls to accumulate a pathetic 17. Bowled 1 over of girly double-bouncers and flounced around, clearly stoned, in the field.

From Soldaya:
Comrade Cobramavitch 4 sickles!
An outstanding contribution. A Stalingrad-esque batting performance helping to put on our greatest opening partnership (Tzar – please check all stats but I cannot recall a greater opening stand). His fielding was of a comrade half his age and his bowling trickery outfoxed one of the capitalist scum – much to our Comraderly joy. If only Comrade Jontin had been there to give him his usual support!


COSMONAUT DAGIEV starstarstarstarstar
In contrast, a real Soviet athlete. Blasted 100, humoured his pansy opening ‘partner’ Ceevich along the way, and then retired in a brilliantly witty spoof of the ludicrous ‘English Gentleman’. Bowled 7 overs and took 3 glorious wickets. Double-sweet performance, as ‘Daggers’ has apparently rejected transfer-advances from blue-rinse Brighton Xiles.

Chips please


TOMASZ HODDEROV starstarstarstar
Young gun was cheated of his wicket by dastardly Dave ‘Bull’ Hooper – the Xiles keeper knocking off the bails and claiming a clean-bowled, but responded with an utterly fearsome fielding and fast- bowling performance. A nerveless top catch at deep square crowned a great day for Tomasz the tyro!


SIBERIAN TIGER starstarstarstar
Our new big-hitting no.4 blasted 20 – our second-highest individual score today – in a brutal 72-run, 9-over partnership with Cosmo Dagiev, then took a fabulous low catch at short mid-on. Awarded club cap before the game, in yet another publicity stunt by disgraced Lt Gen Cee’vich..Well deserved though!


VLAD BORINGSKI starstarstarstar
Classic all-rounder example of the re-educated Russian aristo: 17 not out batting, 3 wickets in just 2 overs bowling, pristine white shirt, and entertainingly ribald stories during the drive home. For all this, he deserves the state return of his spooky Transylvanian castle. Hail Vlad The Impaler!

Sussex grace


PETR BRANDONOVSKI starstarstarstarstar
The modern epitomy of a grim Donetsk Depression coal miner, Vice skip ‘Brando’ not only took – and shone with – the gloves, but also energetically cajoled the team to greater heights and tactical nous throughout the fielding session. Chipped in a useful cameo batting with the Bolshevik blade too.


ASIF TIGERETTESKOV starstarstarstar
Siberian Tiger’s mathematician brother, on debut, showed why he is being head-hunted as the Motherland’s next Minister of Finance: Quirky, sociable, empathetic, wordly, wisdom-filled and super-intelligent, he batted late on with aplomb before again waiting his chance – then bowling an unpredictably quixotic spell at the death, to confound the craven capitalists.

Knight and Rocinante


YANKEROV starstarstarstar
What a servant of all the Soviets! Did not bat, but stayed honed and alert enough to deliver a long, strangulating opening spell with the ball – and a supreme deep fielding performance to boot.  An exemplarily selfless sportsman. Yank-off-worthy to watch, in fact!


A player who struggles, like Ballotelli perhaps, with the after-dark temptations of degenerate Capitalism, but who nevertheless always comes through for The Cause. Like Yankers, Soldya did not get to wield the willow today, but never complained. Instead, he tormented the Tory Xiles with his bowling from the off – producing his full portfolio of tweak-trickery, before snaffling a sumptuous catch at the fave fielding position he has made his own, short extra (Commie) ccver.

Hoops Jumped
Hoops Jumped


Do Svidaniya!



MATCH TIED AT 82 BOLCC 82 for 6 SCC 82 for 6

Chance of rain.

It is always a nice marker for the season when the SCC and BOLCC appear at Regent’s Park for its annual cricketing 20-20 soiree. It says: Summer, fun, family and of course, cricket. Being a Friday evening of course, we generally have no trouble securing team from amongst the ranks of the SCC who haven’t gone off on holidays yet. Our team was a fine bunch of SCC trads with the addition of two, super new-bloods who we have tried to get amongst us for some time, Wilsongrad and Dagleyev (who are apparently also called Ross Wilson and Neil Dagley, but that is just dangerous hearsay). More of them soon.

The Hub Cafe

The weather of course has to be mentioned. For the last week or more, the weather has been dependably gorgeous with sunny days and evenings a reliable fixture to the day. So of course, it seemed that the cricketing Gods had not paid their licence for this night and so from the skies came thunder and lightning… and rain. And boy, did it ever. We had been about to commence when the skies came down upon us like hot, heavy, black wet sponges. We were in the The Hub’s bar/café and that was we stayed for some time. The official inspecting the expansive cricketing grounds before finally moving us to an all-weather pitch a bit further along. We commenced and BOLCC were batting first. Opening Wells and Cassidy. Strike me down if that doesn’t sound like a par of cowboy villains or a Broadway musical duo. Or for that matter both. Against them opening the bowling was Yankheroff and Yuri, the joint 1976 Russian Chest-masters [sic]. The former was his usual grand self but I had arrived late and angry to the pitch and demonstrated nothing but poop for bowls. Luckily our new blood, Dagleyev was superb in his deception and on his third ball had Wells bowled for 18. Now put Soldya into the mix and the bowling was hot with surprises. For 24, Jontin provided Cassidy with all the desirous pitch a batsman could desire and he slapped the ball into the hands of Dagleyev – Magnificov comrades! McN of BOLCC was permitted a trip up to 21 (?) and then was retired N/O. Why he retired for that I don’t know as his last run was a single – but there we go. Rogers and Warren were out for nought by Jontin and a run-out. And Samovar, was out caught and bowled by Jontin. Elegance avec un touch of commie-ball-lust. Supremovar commissar Jontin. And a superb mention of new-blood punch was Wilsongrad who came amongst us and on his second over’s second ball, bent the stumps back to bowl Christophil. Robski, as ever, nippy behind and sticky with his hands. A pleasant mention too to Brandonovski, who when aroused enough to bowl, did so with two very economic and stytlish overs. All around, well done the SCC!!! A brief interval, where the guzzlers amongst us were all over the delicious food and drink supplied by Samovar and BOLCC – thank you! I managed a little but was too busy managing Richardson family politics and lovely babies, Rupert and Thomas, who at this point were still awake and providing lovley baby’ness to whoever so fancied it.


We opened with Dagleyev and Soldya. Both splendid, the former with some very elegant and slick stroked that glided him through to his 25 retiring N/O – one of which was a delightful six! Soldya was a splendid partner to many other bats to come. Rob and Yuri were in and out fast and I am afraid I rather let the side down by being a little tense as I walked out. Sometimes life gets you like that. My anger turn abruptly to the bowler, Nick as I was clobbered in the arm by a full toss and a flinch to the groin. Note to self, never turn ones anger to an innocent bowler as it just gets you out the next ball. Wilsongrad strolled out to pick up the debris. New-blood he is, shirker he is not. A most commendable 9 scored with a 6 included. Welcome aboard, comrade. Time for another retirement N/O? Yes, why not? And comrade commissar Jontin was just the ticket to supply it. Here is the man 0who can stoically provide staying power and scoring ability in one ample package. A 25 scored with a 6 and three 4s. He welcomed in young Owenoff and was soon conveying words of wisdom to him. This fine young comrade had a great eye on him and made two excellent runs during his stay. This was partially accompanied by Brandonovski who took an admirable 6 before being caught by Mr. Graham aka: Cobramovich. Through the magic of cricket and its most wonderful vagueries, it came down to the last ball. We were at equal scores of 82 and Sewelski went out to make a run. Never an easy task and most admirably, Sewelski found himself bowled out so the teams were equally tied. The winner? Cricket! Thank you comrades, PAWS and the BOLCC and their followers too and is it was a great game and so suitable to end at a tie – and so rare too. HUZZAR!

photo 1
A beautifull end